A
female
age
30-35,
*han14
writes:I think i'm starting to get jealous of my boyfriends bestfriend. We are in a long distance relationship and have been together for almost 2 years. He has known his friend, which is a girl, for a long time he says and I get sad because they go to school together and she sees him more than I do. And also, yesterday he said she asked him to a basketball game but he didn't go and i've been upset since he told me this.Am I overreacting or do I have a right to feel this way? Any advice would help..........thank-you for reading.
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best friend, jealous, long distance Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008): I am a female and my best friend is a guy. We love eachother more than anything because we understand eachother very well and have huge respect for one another. We go on long walks to talk, go out to dinner, have taken trips together and even say I love you on the phone. That being said, he is my best friend-thats it. Nothing has ever happened between us. He finally met someone and is getting married this year. I couldn't be happier for them because he totally deserves it. I don't know your boyfriend, but it IS possible for a boy and girl to be best friends.
A
female
reader, blackcatsz333 +, writes (2 February 2008):
 My fiance and I live in different states and thus I know how you are feeling. I've learned that I need to control my jealousy and to have faith and trust in him. If your boyfriend loves you, he won't do anything with his female friends.
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A
female
reader, blackcatsz333 +, writes (2 February 2008):
My fiance and I live in different states and thus I know how you are feeling. I've learned that I need to control my jealousy and to have faith and trust in him. If your boyfriend loves you, he won't do anything with his female friends.
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A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (31 January 2008):
Just be careful.Not all promises made are kept.My ex once told me that but here i am mending a broken heart.For your sake i'll be praying your bf is as committed as you are.Sometimes the people we trust the most are the ones that disappoint us.Leave room for disappointment but have some trust in him.Be smart.Don't just buy everything he says as gospel truth.
Take care
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2008): I can well understand just where you are coming from. Why do you live so far apart? I used to live 200 miles from my bloke (long since my ex and not because of that) and he would phone on a Saturday and he had spent friday night out with some of his female friends, honestly it nearly killed me. Until i moved in and he stopped going out with them. You have to respect the fact that he has female friends and you have male friends. It is so hard, but just try not to think of it like that. He has said to you that you wont break up because of someone else. Dont dwell on it, keep busy.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, Shan14 +, writes (30 January 2008):
Shan14 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you all for all your answers......My boyfriend said that he will always love me and that nobody can break us up.
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A
male
reader, chlez83 +, writes (30 January 2008):
It's such thoughts that caused me and my ex to break up.You need to allow him live his own life which includes having friends (male & or female).You too need to keep yourself busy with other things which includes friends (male & or female).In such a relationship,you have no choice but to trust him and if you can't it's best you walk away.What you feel is normal coz there's always a risk of him cheating on you with her.In your mind she's a threat! How much do you trust him?
Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (30 January 2008):
 Some men can have female friends but there is no romance. Just like females view two types of men, friends or mate ? You should trust your b/f because they have been friends for long. If they wanted a relationship ,they would have been attached long time ago.Be confident and do not show your jealous feelings.
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A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (30 January 2008):
 i can see where you are coming from as a long distance girlfriend, but the thing you need to remind yourself is that if they were ever gonna get together dont you think they would have done it already?! there are best friends, and as much as ppl love to think it, that never changes. i wouldnt worry in the slightest, if she was a guy would you be upset if they went to a basketball game? thats how you have to see it, he treats her as he would if she were a guy best friend, and probably vice versa.
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A
female
reader, Devilish Angel +, writes (30 January 2008):
 I feel your pain. I understand how threatened you feel. However, if you let your jealously cause you to suspect him, then you're only hurting yourself and your relationship. I think you should just take a step back and take a deep breath. Why get upset over nothing?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2008): You see her as a potential threat?
I can tell you, such paranoid thoughts are only gonna drive away.
So learn to suppress it, get past it or embrace it. But whatever you choose to do... don't ruin a perfectly good relationship because of your insecurities.
She may be his friend, but YOU are the one he's dating. And his refusal to nick off to a game with her and instead spend time with you certainly helps his cause.
Flynn 24
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