A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Over the past year, I have beecome more insecure about myself. I was so confident before about myself that nothing bothered me at all, and I was just so happy. Now, I feel the opposite. My bf starts looking at other girls while im with him out in public, and just stares and ignores when I talk or ask him something. This resulted me in some jealousy, and myself changing my looks many times- gaining weight, losing weight, highliting my hair to blonde and dyeing it to black. I feel that I have to change my look to be more confident about myself. But, I don't like it at all because it is way too superifical for me that it is not me anymore, nor the super outgoing me that I was before. I need some advice in overcoming this.
View related questions:
confidence, insecure, jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, NJmomabear  +, writes (26 April 2007):
 Ummm, I've been where you are accept it was much much worse. I had long strawberry-blonde hair, blue/green eyes, 36C, 26, 36...5'2. Young, talented, nice car, nice living and I was involved with someone who made me feel like if I wasn't the most attractive person in the room then I was no good. Which most of the time I was at the time...but dealing with that kind of pressure eventually drove me off the deep end. From that point on I made a promise to myself that there is no greater beauty in life then that of acceptance and MUTUAL admiration. Its very hard to find but I refuse to have a superficial relationship like that again. Not saying that you are, but maybe your jealous cause he's looking meanwhile not giving you what YOU need. I think that's the real issue.
A
male
reader, jmac1344 +, writes (26 April 2007):
 All guys look at other girls, it doesn't mean anything, its just in our nature.
Anyone that says otherwise is just flat out lying, don't take it personal. At the end of the day you're the only one he wants to be with, thats all that matters right?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2007): talk to him tell him how u feel
...............................
A
female
reader, Midge  +, writes (25 April 2007):
 Firstly, if he is looking at other girls, so long as he doesnt touch, its pretty normal. My boyfriend and I look at other people and he may even comment that "she's hot" or I may say "mmmmm he's nice". So long as you dont touch, its pretty normal. It just means that all your body parts are working and its also a little nudge to your partner sometimes. When I say nudge, I mean that it can be used as a mechanism to make them jealous for their satisfaction.
As for the changing of looks etc, why change the way you are for a bloke that you may love now, but a year down the road, may not be there. But your looks is something that you can control and its a window to your sould. You dont have to be the thinest, most beautiful girl in the world, you just have to show that you are a confident person and everything else will speak for itself.
You said it, its too superficial to be changing your looks to something you're not just to make this bloke happy. You have to be happy too, and this is clearly not making you happy. And trust me, the gaining weight, loosing weight thing, its called being a female! I go from being a hippo to being a string bean in the matter of months, and Lord knows why but it happens! But the most important thing is that I am happy with who I am, and because i am happy with me being me, my boyfriend is too.
...............................
A
female
reader, fedupwife! +, writes (25 April 2007):
Dear anonymous,
please do not let this man beat you down like this!, i know from experience that men love to look at other women all the time when in your company,my husband does it all the time!I have just found out hes been advertising for sex on the internet in cars with young girls!!can you believe that?
Well let me tell you my intention for the past four months i have lost two and a half stone in weight i have been to my gp this morning to get on to the waiting list for a tummy tuck on the nhs,and as soon as i am ready and well enough im going to get rid!!!
I have given him 12 years of my life and two beautiful boys,and this is how he repays me, please dont end up like me, do something about it now and if you cannot finish the relationship with him make sure you look in the mirror every day and tell yourself you are beautiful and he doesnt deserve you!!!!Other than that you could try and do the same as him, make him jealous by looking at other guys!!!Nobody deserves to be treated like this,somehow they always make you feel that there is something wrong with you its not that its just men in general they all look, but as long as he doesnt touch then you have got big problems good luck im thinking of you traceyx
...............................
|
