A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am a 25 year old female...I have been with my partner for over 3 and a half years now. And we have been planning our marriage for some time now. But I must say that in the beginning of our relationship our sex life was really healthy. I couldn't complain. We have concieved 2 beautiful daughters together since then, and plan onhaving 1 more chid later in the future. Now that time has gone by just a bit, sex is a subject he doesn't like to talk about. We haven't had sex for about 3 months. He says i should be used to it by now because we go longer without it.I am still very young and I definitly have my needs. I do talk to him about it. But his response would mostly be "Love isn't just based on sex" or "why do we need to talk about this". I explain all the time exactly how i feel but he would shut me down and change the subject.What options do I have? What can I do to make him feel aroused? Or am I complaining for nothing? Am I having sex more than an average woman?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2009): He is being mean by deflecting the problem onto you when really it is him who has the problem in either not feeling desire or not wanting sex. His problem which he needs to sort out. You should make it clear to him that it is a problem and one that needs to be solved. Reject his excuses, be blunt and don't let him shut down the conversation.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2009): You have 2 beautiful daughters so together you have a huge responsibility to your daughters and to each other.For many relations the sex is getting less during the years, but average numbers and what other peoples do in their relations is not solving your problem and when something is average is doesn't mean that it is healthy.A huge % of the couples divorce and sex is an important reason.Average in US and Europe it seems to be 2x a week, but what is average. few couples have every day 1 or more times and other couples have only 1 time in 3 months and everything in between (I know which couples are most happy).In a higher % the man wants more sex then the parter but there is also a considerable and increasing number of women who have a higher libido as their male partner.So your partner's reaction is more than a bit strange to me, because in the past you had healthy sexual relation. There might be more going on and that is difficult to consider from here. You must find out why he is losing his interest to have sex (with you). Does he has problems somewhere that are so heavy that his libido is disappearing, or did you change so much and is has shame to tell you that he is not anymore attracted or is he eating somewhere else. Honestly I see this as the 3 main reasons that could cause your partner's reaction.You should follow your intuition, depending what the reason could be, you can act more directly or do your research.I wish you good luckHope my answer could help you.
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