A
female
age
,
*ick and tired
writes:I have a wonderful life. I have everything bit cannot find love. I have been very unlucky in my search for love.M question is , I met a man that works at my gym. I am attracted to him. Everytme , I goto the gym he comes over and talks to me for s long time. I have tried to flirt with him, i paid him a compliment and have been nice. He seems to talk about himself a lot. This has been going on for three weeks. Yesterday, I went and I said what are you doing this weekend and he said nothing I said you should go out and have one of those chocolate Martinis you like. He replied that would hurt my diet. I threw the bait out there. I was hoping he would say let's met out for a drink. He is not dating he said it is safer not to that he was very hurt in the past. He likes to bake a lot of cookies. I'd he gay? Not interested. More interested in himself? Clueless? Not to sound conceited, but slot of other guys are checking me out in the gym. This guy caught my attention. Thanks for helping an way you can.
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male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (3 February 2013):
 The guy may not have picked up on your question because he feels it would be inappropriate to ask you out on a date. After all, if he works there, I am sure he didn't want to risk offending you by asking you out. Or he could be in a committed relationship... .or he could be gay.
Just because he likes sweets doesn't mean he is gay. I run a TON of miles and work out frequently. I have an appetite like a horse. I bake cookies / cakes all the time because I enjoy the challenge and it is an easy way to make portable food. I also enjoyed sharing with people at work. I can cook a wonderful meal every night of the week and like trying new things. But....
Let me state very clearly: I am NOT gay.
If you are interested in the man, next time you talk to him, suggest meeting up. Ask him flat out if he wants to meet somewhere for a drink or try a place for lunch. If he bites, then you've got your date, but if he doesn't, move on...
After all, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Good luck on your search for love.
Eddie
A
female
reader, sick and tired +, writes (2 February 2013):
sick and tired is verified as being by the original poster of the questionActually, he has said he is adduced to sweets and gained weight. He said he was cutting back on sugar.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2013): My husband is ripped also, and he also goes to GYM, and he never talks about diet, and I never heard any of my straight guy friends talking about how healthy they eat. My husband doesn't eat meat, so he ll say it when the time comes, but that's all. I guess everyone is different.One gay couple that we know always joke how they recognize their own, by what they drink, and yes, it's martinis. James Bond was long ago, it was different then.I would ask jokingly, I actually did it a few times. Guys never get offended by question like this. Gay guys are proudly admit it, and straight guys just laugh about it, but some actually take it as a compliment, they think I asked that because I like how they are dressed:)
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A
female
reader, sick and tired +, writes (2 February 2013):
sick and tired is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am the OP. I wanted to clarify, in a previous conversation the guy said he was addicted to chocolate and sweets. I told him I loved chocolate Martinis, that they taste like dessert. That is how the discussion came up. Bottom line, he is not into me. I think he is talking to me a lot because I am a good listener and he can talk about him self.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2013): "Also what straight guy talks about diet?"
Erm, maybe a straight guy in the gym, who like all the others in the gym is into health and fitness? Just a wild guess like, you know, seeing as he's in the gym and that's basically all anyone ever talks about in there, or maybe I'm just crazy. Especially seeing as it's one of my favourite topics of discussion as I'm ripped and always get asked about how I got that way.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2013): Cindy, Martinis are a gay drink if they're stirred, not shaken. :P
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 February 2013):
 Martinis are a gay drink ? But what about James Bond, then ? :)...
I don't think that drinks and cookies are a reliable indicator of sexual orientation. I know several straight males, who are into cooking and baking and making cakes and stuff - they are foodies , not gay.
I guess he is simply not interested, that's all. I do not doubt that you are an attractive woman, but, no matter how attractive you are, you just can't attract them all. There will always be some on whom your mojo does not work.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (2 February 2013):
 Thanks to your submittal, I was able to, finally, ask my sister.... who is well-known for her baking skills...and who has had two very successful restaurants, in the past.... if SHE was gay. She told me that she wasn't (gay)....
So much for your theory that someone who bakes a lot of cookies is gay......
What is your REAL question?????
Good luck...
P.S. If you REALLY want to know if a guy is gay.... ask him what brand of after-shave he uses!!!!!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (2 February 2013):
Thanks to your submittal, I was able to, finally, ask my sister.... who is well-known for her baking skills...and who has had two very successful restaurants, in the past.... if SHE was gay. She told me that she wasn't (gay)....
So much for your theory that someone who bakes a lot of cookies is gay......
What is your REAL question?????
Good luck...
P.S. If you REALLY want to know if a guy is gay.... ask him what brand of after-shave he uses!!!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2013): Chocolate martinis, ha? I m pretty sure he is gay. Cookies, even if he bakes them what straight guy would talk about it.Have you ever seen straight guy drinking chocolate martini? Martinis are known to be gay drinks.I know quite a bit about it, as our customers are very often gays, and we have close gay friends. This is what they order: martinis when we go out. Also what straight guy talks about diet? Too many things indicate he is gay. I m just wondering, can't you see? I usually can tell.With all that said, it really makes no difference, after he said he is not interested in dating right now. First of all I don't believe when people say it. I m sure people would date if they met someone they really like. For me it always sounds like, I don't want to date you.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (2 February 2013):
I do a lot of baking, cooking and all sorts. I'm not gay. The food has nothing to do with it,and you seem to me that you've glossed over the reason he really gave for not dating, which was "He is not dating, he said it is safer not to and that he was hurt in the past".
That was the reason he didn't take the bait.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (2 February 2013):
 Well, you did talk to him a lot it seems.
If he is more interested in himself then he would have turned every subject onto himself and rarely would have asked your opinion in something.
You: I went to Spain on holiday.
Self-focused him: I went to Italy.
Normal him: What region?
Flirt (I am bad at it): that explains the lovely tan.
Not recognizing flirting isn't always a bad sign, some people just ain't very good at it but are they not very good at it because they are not very good at it or because they don't care/listen?
Saying to a woman that something might hurt her diet to me seems beyond clueless and downright rude.
As for baking making you gay, only if you make the gingerbread men anatomically correct and then suck the icing off.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 February 2013):
 I'm hoping you did not choose the title of the post as just because a man bakes cookies does not make him gay.
As for your dilemma with this guy.... you are so interested in him...stop playing games and being coy stop dropping hints.
IF you want to go out with him ASK HIM. this is THE TWENTY FIRST CENTURY and if women want to be treated as equal they have to act it.
I would not be married to my husband right now had I not gone after him... I actually said to him "do I have to hit you over the head with a brick to get you to get it?" and his said "yeah I'm clueless about this"
The guy you are interested in has said he was hurt in the past and is not dating... that may be true and he may still be healing from a recent breakup (less than a year is recent depending on the depth of the last relationship)
If you are truly that interested in him, stop playing coy, stop playing games, stop dropping hints.. get out there and ASK him to go for a drink... and since he said a chocolate martini would ruin his diet... ask him if he would like to go for a salad and a mineral water.... then he can't use that excuse....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2013): Impossible to tell OP, I'm straight and I could bake you brownies that would make your eyes water with delight they taste so good. They're my go to gift for everyone and they take no effort to make.
Look you may think he's gay because he didn't take your bait and you have plenty of guys giving you the eyes. What you seem to have completely ignored is this " He is not dating he said it is safer not to that he was very hurt in the past."
Why are you ignoring that or dismissing it? There's your answer right there and it doesn't matter what his sexuality he's not interested in dating at the moment so he's hardly likely to take your "bait", is he?
It doesn't matter whether he's gay or straight he's not interested in dating anyone, he didn't just say that OP, he meant it. We guys usually do.
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