A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Please help! I am in love with my married ex-boss. He owns a dental practice group. Last summer, I started working for him as a receptionist. After mild flirting with each other for a few months, we had an affair. I quit working for him after we slept with each other and found another job. We continued seeing each other after that. A few times each month, we would meet in his ranch, cooking, laughing, and riding horses. He is 25 years old than me, has been married for 22 years with no kid. Recently, I realized that I am pregnant with his child. I haven't told him yet. I don't know what to do. His wife is a physician, who is extremely busy with her work and is rarely home. What should I do? Should I convince him to leave his wife?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2008): Hello,
I wish I had some good advice to pass on. All I can say is that I know your struggle and frustration. I just realized a few days ago I am have fallen deeply in love with my boss. I thought for a long time I just thought she was VERY attractive and I was into her and turned on by her. It is has became far more intense the past few months though, and I concluded I am in love. It is frustrating because it is hard to work for someone when you have those feelings, and I know nothing could ever happen (story of my life.) I can't even be around her, I get nervous and aloof and stupid, and say the dumbest things. To make it worse SHE makes fun of me for it, not for being in love with (I doubt she knows)but for my ridiculous words and actions, and inability to anything but a nervous wreck aroun her. My boss assumes I am like that because she is my boss, and that is why I am intimidated. She tells me, 'You need to get over that" all the time. PFFT! Yeah sure! If only she knows I could even talk to her without my palms being sweaty, and my tongue twisting up...geesh, and forget making solid eye contact! I don't know how all this happened, it just developed this way...and I can't pinpoint why! Anyway, I am with ya...in the same boat!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2008): OMG! A little late to be asking for advice now don't you think? No offense, but I have to be brutally honest with you. Would you mind if he stayed with his wife and maybe or maybe not continued to sleep with you while sending you child support every month? Or what if he and his wife decide that his child would be better off being raised by him and his physician wife? Did you ever think about that? That maybe you would have to share custody?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2008): I doubt you will manage to convince him to leave his wife, to be honest with you. I suggest you tell him that you are pregnant but don't pressure him to leave her because he may give you the lip service that he'll leave her but odds are... he never will! You were just some fun on the side for him, unfortunately for him he's got to deal with the consequences. Depending on if you are keeping the baby or not, he'll have to pay child support so his wife will likely find out about you and dump his ass so he won't have to make the choice! Then you can have him all to yourself.
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A
male
reader, saltwater  +, writes (13 September 2008):
 Oh dear Lord what a mess!
Well, I'm always for honesty, and everyone need to know what is going here.
His wife needs to know he had an affair; he sure needs to know you're pregnant with his child...and so does his wife.
It's not fair on her to keep her in the dark.
You can all decide where to go from there; and it's not for me to tell you what to do other than to say that everyone involved needs to know what happened.
Once all three of you are made aware of the current situation, some decisions may become clearer.
Take care
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