| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I'm a 21 year old female and consider myself to be straight. However,I am in love with my female friend and have felt this way for a long time. We've recently finished university so I haven't seen her for a while but I'm pining for her badly, I can't imagine my life without seeing her regularly. She doesn't know I feel this way.I have been out with several men although my longest relationship is only a couple of months. I don't know if I'm chanelling my feelings towards my friend because of a lack of a meaningful romantic relationship.What should I do?
View related questions:
university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Amethyst  +, writes (13 August 2006):
 It could possibly be that you love your friend dearly, like a sister, but you're not IN love with her. But since you've had bad relationships with guys, you have the feelings confused. Think it through.
If you haven't ever really had any sort of good relationships, whether it be dating, family, friends, then you might just have a close attachment to her and don't like the thought of being seperated from the best relationship you've ever had in your lifetime.
Then again, you may have the "more than just friends" love for her. Take time to sort through this, imagine yourself in a few scenerios with her. Can you imagine kissing her romantically more than you can a peck on the cheek? And if you come to the conclusion that you are indeed in love with her, and you're POSITIVE of it, start talking to her. Find a way to work into a conversation on views on relationships, then move onto gay relationships. See how she reacts to it. Be careful though if you see that she doesn't have a problem with it, that might just mean for others, not herself. This could make a friendship awkward if you tell her your feelings and she doesn't share them.
It's much like walking barefoot on a floor covered with tacs. You have to carefully make your way through until reaching your conclusion. Then, only you can make the choice.
A
female
reader, Juliette  +, writes (12 August 2006):
 Give yourself as much time as you need. You don't say if your friend is straight or not. Obviously, you don't want to risk losing her friendship but perhaps next time you see her for a girls get together you could develop a conversation along these issues so you could have a better idea of her views. In the meantime, you could just see how you go as from the sound of it, your friend will be around a long time whatever happens, and by then you may have sorted your feelings out without actually declaring your full blown desires. It may also affect your decision if she is already in a relationship at the moment.
...............................
|
