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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi. Sorry this is kind of long. I've been going out with my bf for about 5 months now. I think he's great and wonderful, and although he's not flawless at all, i feel very strongly for him. The only problem is that my parents don't really like his attitude sometimes. My bf jokes around sarcastically and sometimes it seems like he's challeging my parents to the point where they will get upset with me when he leaves. I know hes a good person and has a different personality than my parents and that he's not trying to be rude or disrespectful to them, but that's how my parents see him. His parents are very easy going and joke around whereas mine are more old fashioned. My parents treat him ok when he's over, but they'll comment on things that he may have said after he's gone and it really breaks my heart because i want my parents to like him. I think i made the mistake of telling my bf how my parents feel because i want to avoid future conflicts, and although he seemed to handle it well, i think i hurt his feelings and offended him somehow. I felt so mean and harsh towards him. I wish i could take it back now. I told my mom that I spoke to my bf about how they feel towards him, and she even got upset with me, saying she really didnt dislike him, just sometimes he goes overboard. I feel like i made this whole situation 100 times greater than it already was and i feel so stupid about it. i just really want my parents to like him, and not think i'm head over heels with a kid they dont think isnt perfect for me. What should i do? I've been obsessing on this topic for a while. Thanks so much for listening. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Mushgirl  +, writes (13 August 2006):
 well. umm, i never tell my parents if i have a boyfriend, for those exact reasons.
i suggest you tell your parents you've split up with him, then just see him in secret, but that might not work for you...
umm yeah, good luck :)
A
female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell +, writes (12 August 2006):
 Hey,
well your boyfriend souns really nice but let's just look at it from your Parents point of veiw for a second. Their baby girl has grown up right infront of them (remember, for parents it's only yesterday you were saying your first word) And suddenly, she's dating and they realise they have to let go. It's got to be difficult for them realising they can't hang onto you forever.
Why don't you get your parents and your boyfriend together and see if they can come to some sort of behavior compremise? Sort of meet in the middle? So he can do his jokes but tone down the sarcasm or something like that?
At the end of the day, for parents it's scary to see thier baby girl all grown up! If it's mean to be, it'll work out. Everything happens for a reason.
Hope this helped,
Phoebe xxx
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