A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:been married for 14 years have 2 beautiful kids but i'm not in love with my wife anymore i'm in love with another women who is also married 20 years. went to school and graduated with this women her marriage is bad also she is not happy we want to be together what do we do
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2009): please please please get a divorce.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2009):
So instead of just continuing your affair with the married female, put an end to your marriage NOW. IT is not fair on your wife. Just release your wife to go out and find happiness and love, as as you believe you have. What to do? Do the right thing and release her. You have compromised yourself in any event. This other woman has as well. doesn’t matter whether innocent people get hurt, the deed is done. Going forward stop with the lies and the ultimate betrayal. Your wife deserves at least this , doesn’t she??
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2009): Life is too short not to be blissfully happy with the one you love and want to be with. The kids will get over it. If you're happy, they will end up happy as well and will pattern their behavior after a healthy, loving relationship, not one that has no love. Live life with no regrets, especially since you and this woman both want to be together. It won't be easy though.
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A
female
reader, Plexi  +, writes (27 October 2009):
 First of all, you made a vow to your wife so you need to try to work things out with her...........get some counseling, work on the problem, what is it that made you fall out of love because that doesn't just happen overnight. Did something happen?......................are you just not in lust with her anymore and using the " not in love anymore" as an excuse to end the marriage? Is this new woman igniting feelings that you haven't felt for a long time( lust feelings)............does she represent a chance at a new beginning? What is it that made you fall in love with your wife in the first place? Is she not still the same woman? Love always changes.........from passion to compassion, etc. This will happen with the new woman as well eventually. You are not a child anymore, it's unrealistic that we stay in lust forever..........love has to change, to evolve/mature just like us. If your friend is not happy in her marriage then she needs to deal with that and all you can do is be a friend to her.
If adultery has not been committed, no abuse( physical or emotional) has taken place, there is no substance abuse happening that puts anyone in danger then I suggest you try to honor your vows and work on your marriage. If the situation is SO bad that both of you want out then I think you need to end that..........stay friends with the other woman( take some time for yourself, just be by yourself for a year or so) then you can if she is no longer married by then either a relationship can be pursued.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Been there, Done that  +, writes (27 October 2009):
Hi :)
Yes i may only be sixteen but i beleive i can help you.
You see when i was only 4 years old my mum and dad split up and it was torture for me and at that age i didnt understand why.
I have something for you to think about.
For you to have a bit of pleasure you would be destroying your wife and kids lifes not to mention the family that the other person has.
Do what you gotta do.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (27 October 2009):
You both get a divorce, get together, and hope it works out...
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