A
female
,
anonymous
writes: iam 18 years old,attractive, intelligent girl and my problem is that i think in love with a married man with two kids one year and four year children. he is living with his wife the only time i see him is the weekends when his wife is at work. to be honest i really bad myself. so please i need your help what should i do. can't talk this about my friends or family.
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female
reader, lovely123 +, writes (15 September 2009):
i am married and was involved with a married man i only wanted a fling but he was talking about extra martial relationships and stuff like that i had to leave him alone......what i am trying 2 tell u is its not worth it he is married and he is not leaving his wife ...so if i were u i will go and find another love because he is not worth ur time...i felt for the amrried guy that i was seeing that why i had to give it up because i know that it wasnt right....its going to be hard but u can do it....good luck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2006): Being in a relationship with a married man myself, i know how you feel. it is hard to walk away even if you know it is the right and sensible thing to do.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2006): if you cant get anything from him like money or political influence then dump him by all means. but if you can use him in somethin which would be beneficial to you and only you then do the dumping once he is of no importance
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2006): If you want my advice stop this relationship NOW. He will NEVER LEAVE his wife. I was in a relationship with a married man for 9 years and I have just ended it. Believe me its hard but you are young and can find love again. Married MEN never leave I was waiting for 9 years. No more waiting.
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A
female
reader, chunky_monkey +, writes (27 June 2006):
Inside you know this is wrong. STOP IT NOW
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A
male
reader, Wild Thaing +, writes (26 June 2006):
"... can't talk this about my friends or family."
This statement says it all. Listen to your instinct - it is screaming something at you.
This married man has no desire to share you with his other life, just as you don't want to share this fling with your family or friends.
Let me show you a glimpse of a possible future that lay ahead for you IF you decide to pursue an affair with this married man: One day you will ask him to leave his wife and kids. He will promise you that he will, BUT he has to wait. And wait. And wait. Someday you will realize where you stand with him. And that would be a juicy side dish, but never the main course. To be blunt, you would be his young little f---buddy. Is that all you want in a romantic relationship?
The story I told you actually happened to a friend of mine when we were about your age, and I was saddened to think that she thought so little of herself. Fortunately, she was young, and eventually found a guy that was available to her 100%, not when the wife wasn't around.
Now, being 18, attractive, and most of all intelligent, put your brain cells to work and think about the consequences of being the mistress - What would you gain? What would you miss out on? If this relationship is the first and only romantic one of your young life, I would suggest that there are other relationships you can experience with men who can be yours and yours alone.
Good luck and take care.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2006): iam seeing a married man myself and its hard we have been going out for 3 years now.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (26 June 2006):
Show just how intelligent you are...dump the married guy. There is no future there, just misery and sloppy seconds. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get on with your life, you won't regret it. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (26 June 2006):
You need to stop the relationship with the married guy as it is not going to develop into anything special. If he is cheating on his wife with you, then he would cheat on you with another woman too. How could you ever trust him? You are young and have your life ahead of you. There are plenty of men out there who will love you back in the way you hope for. There are plenty of men out there without a wife and children! I think it comes down to self respect at the end of the day. You have got to learn to love yourself enough not to be some man's mistress, and to demand a single man who gives you attention when you need it and not just at the 'weekends'. I hope you make the right choice.
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