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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi, My bf and I have been seeing each other for over a year, we have been arguing alot lately, he says that Im irrational and over the top about stuff when i try to tell him that i feel hurt about something and dismisses my feelings. he says he's a joker and sometimes he says things to wind me up. but when i tell him that sometimes im hurt by these things, he says hes only messing, that that is just the person he is. He's also a relatively quiet person and keeps to himself about his past which he considers private (not about evrything, mainly his family). its causing friction between because he says that he's getting bored with the way i go on about evrything, but i cant let things go when he wont talk about anyhting with me! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, pashun8tly +, writes (27 June 2006):
don't accept that crap! it's called emotional abuse! he's playing mind games with you to try to control you...
in rare societies, women are revered, meaning they are respected like goddesses.
& i don't ever get it: but as soon as you back off by saying that you had enough, that's when he'll come running & begging you back. it's damned if you do, damned if you don't. don't get caught up in that bullshit.
remember you are the QUEEN and he comes to you if he knows what's good for him. If not, hasta la vista, baby...next!
now how fun can the other cutie be? you'll never know by wasting your breath on that whimp.
A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (26 June 2006):
 Sounds like you like to have things out in the open and he prefers to keep things to himself, unless you can meet in the middle and agree a happy comfortable compromise there really is no long term future.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2006): Though he tries to be more considerate, etc, he might not be the type of guy you want to be with for the long term. It's possible he can upgrade/change himself, but if you generally explode your feelings and his receptiveness is under-sensitive, this may continue to cause an even greater rift in your relationship with him as time goes on.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for your response... i have talked to him about it and he says he does care about my feelings, he is a sweet person and everybody who is friends with him love him, maybe i do overreact to things! but he has quite a low tolerance for people, friends, family, even 'things' frustrate him. he has told me before that he would try harder to make things better, but its getting to me more and more!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2006): This guy is not considering your feelings whatsoever. He is possibly a little secretive about himself which after being together with him for over a year, you should know most things about him. He seems to have problems with intimacy and if he can't talk to you about the things that hurt you and show a caring attitude towards you, joking or not, then I'm afraid this relationship was never meant to be. Being with someone should be fun especially at the beginning of a relationship and your partner would value that and not want to jeopardise losing you. Talk to him one more time and if he still doesn't respond then I would say goodbye. The hurt you are feeling now will only get worse if you stay with him and put up with his selfish attitude.
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