A
female
age
51-59,
*kydove
writes:I am in a relationship I know I need to get out of. The problem is I don't have any where to go. I guess I've gotten comfortably miserable over the past 4years. I used to be so happy and care free, I made funny statements all the time and people would laugh. I don't do that any more. I've gained weight and am alone all the time. I got a job working nights, thank god, cuz spending time together always leaves me feeling like I'm stupid and a burden. I seen that in the first years, but the house had burned down and we were put together. I Loved him soo much, and he was pretty clear about not feeling the same. He bought me a ring cuz I wouldn't shut up about wanting one. The night he gave it to me, he said " here ya go"!He very rarely talks to me nicely, he makes me feel like I had better make it quick and it better be good.. I only try to talk to him on commercials now. I am done thinking he might change if I just love him enough. I am afraid of being on my own, I have no friends, and only have my sister for family.. and she usually wants something from me.. money, ride, food, come swim in our pool.. She is on her own after being married for 21 years. I just want to hang out with someone who is interested in what I say, or wants my advice, or wants to help me and stick by me. So How do I start this process? I'm ok living here for a while longer.. I don't have to pay rent and my dog and cat love it here.I am scared to be by myself day in and day out.. At least I get some sort of attention here, when I ask for it.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Kama  +, writes (22 June 2010):
 My mistake!
A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (22 June 2010):
 SCUSE ME...
Ima hamsta.
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A
male
reader, Kama +, writes (22 June 2010):
I agree with the mouse down there completely. Set it into motion. It sounds like you already know what to do to improve your life, to try and be happy. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (22 June 2010):
If you stay where you are, you will always feel alone. If you go out by yourself, you will only be alone for a while. You have to free yourself. Once you remove the person who is making you feel like a burdon; insignificant; good for one thing only, then you will be able to develop your own, original feelings about yourself. With someone towering over your self-esteem like that, you can't gain control of it. If you get out, you will not have to worry about him, what he's doing, how he's hurting you, what he thinks of you, or anything else! You'll be free! Does that sound nice to you?
You feel like you'll be alone forever if you leave, because he's done a good job making sure you feel that way so that you won't leave.
Save your money, get a new pet-friendly apartment, knock on your neighbors door and make a new friend. Go to a church and shake someone's hand (even if you don't go to church), find a neighborhood containing neighbors who gather in the culdesac every friday. My uncle just moved in town and his neighbors on his street get together every friday and do what they call "drinks in the driveway" (goofballs).
Common! Get a move on, life is so short, don't waste it.
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