A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my bf for about 2 yrs and weve been had a good relationship. There is another guy tho that I had a relationship with (kinda) and we have started to talk again and he's started to invite me to hang out again. My bf doesn't like that because he knows that I really liked him and I had cheated on my bf with him. I really want him tho and I really want to hang out with him when he invites me but it would make my bf really uncomfortable and insecure. I just want a relationship with the other guy but I don't know if he would fall for me again even if we did hang out. I just wish that I could be with him for a while but my bf and I have so much together as in animals, money, furniture, etc so I don't know what to do. HELP
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (9 October 2010):
 Make your decision. Your boyfriend or this other guy. Who knows if he'll fall for you. You'd be taking a gamble, it may work for you, or it may work against you. I can understand your boyfriend and where he's coming from. You're in a live in relationship, so it is wrong to expect your boyfriend to be okay with you being with this other guy, or going out to hang with any guy that you have cheated on him with.
I feel, by the way you asked the question, you haven't developed the maturity to be in a committed live in relationship. The way you mentioned cheating on him, but feeling as if it's okay to just hang out with this other guy (from your past experience with him, we can assume it wouldn't be platonic), you have personal growing to complete. I feel sorry for your boyfriend. He's the one who's ultimately on the loosing end.
If you were to stay with your boyfriend. It is important that you seriously end contact with the other guy. This is because, you've already cheated with him, and his being around will guarantee further confusion and will not be healthy for the relationship you are in. This decision is up to you. It's one or the other. You cannot have both, and it would be selfish and cold to assume otherwise.
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