A
female
age
36-40,
*ellybeans20009
writes:I am in an extremely complicated and overly dramatized situation. I will try my best to sum it up and hit the main points.I met this guy, he seemed nice and we hit it off. He was obviously into me. He told me he would go out of his way to do certain things for me. I have been hurt in the past because of a previous relationship that went too fast too soon. I want to be careful in all my future selections. At this point, neither of us are directly saying we like each other. I think that it would be dangerous to say anything at this point as we both do not know enough about each other.I know that he is only infatuated. I know his feelings are temporary, despite the fact that I like him with that much intensity too. I am looking for a relationship based on true friendship, compatibility, and loyalty. When he still liked me, I suspected he was a little too immature for me (he's 24). He seemed to be like a flirt although I had no proof and I had a suspicion he had an interest this other girl, we'll call her X. Actually, this guy introduced X to me because he thought we were similar and would become good friends. After I tried to distance myself and try to give him the signal to slow down, I believe he got extremely hurt by it and tried to flirt with X in front of me and take pictures with this new girl as well. I wanted to give up on him at that point, but also wanted to explain myself. I sent him a long written message telling him how I wanted to patiently develop a true friendship with him. And then he replied back that he never felt offended at all (bull). When he came back from vacation, we hung out that very day and I tried to give him signs that I was still into him, I would just like to take it slow. Later that week, when me, X, his other friend, and him were hanging out together...he started to flirt outrageously with X. She was leaving soon, and he chased her down the hall and said how pretty she was and started to take a lot of pictures of her. He said to my face how she was so pretty when she smiled. They spent some time alone walking together and chatted. He spoke to her like some swooning boyfriend. Afterwards, when we were at X's house he started to help her in the kitchen to make food. After that night, X obviously only had eyes for him and her eyes were sparkling.Throughout this situation, I am in extreme pain. I feel like sobbing on the floor and blaming it on a stomach ache. It was a really tough experience, but I put on the best act of my life.I know I need to give up on him completely now, but I need help shedding light onto the situation. I know it was probably because he felt as if I rejected him. What should I do? Should I tell him my feelings at this point? I know I am going to be rejected. I want him to understand that he's an ass. On the other hand, I don't know if I want to get involved with this person who I know so little about too, who in my mind intentionally hurt me multiple times. I am not sure if he would be able to be a committed boyfriend. I am not sure if I am going to have to deal with a situation like this again after if we dated the romance died down. I don't even know if he's someone that's worth investing in. On the other hand, I will be devastated if I learn that X and him get together or if he gets together with anyone else. I do think we had a connection and that he helped me out at a time when I was really lonely (he did the same for X). I also don't want to be put into a situation where we move too fast, he finds out something about me he doesn't like and dumps me or looses feelings either. What should I do? Any insight? Is he just plain flirty, is he just plain interested, or is he hurt?
View related questions:
flirt, immature, spark Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (27 December 2011):
Hi there. It seems like he is trying to get a reaction out of you, to gauge how you feel about him.
Making you jealous seems to be how he's doing it.
He's doing that rather than ask you straight out. It's a round about way, I guess that some men use.
He apparently, isn't too sure of how you really do feel towards him, so he's trying different things to see what happens.
Maybe you can see this, and maybe not.
To me it seems glaringly obvious.
It really depends on how you do feel about him. Whether you like him, or in love with him, or whatever.
You need to decide what you truly do feel towards him, before you decide what you want. Then make a decision.
|
