A
male
age
30-35,
*luenee
writes:Its regarding my girlfriend and me. we are having long distance relation since a year. she used to be so caring and loving. we used to call each other,chat three to four hours daily,share voice recordings and photos via email.. but nowadays,its not happening like that. it used to be difficult for us to stay out of contact for a day.but now she can stay contact less from me for a week also. even when I ask her to send me voice recordings,she makes excuses saying I am not well so can't record or says her frens always around her so couldn't record and so on.. if we start chatting,in the middle she says she either is not fine or says have to do some notes. Whenever I start being romantic ,she makes some excuses and leaves. even it has been long she not saying I love you in mails.. when I ask her to say that in phone calls she makes excuse saying her friends around her.. always same excuse. Whenever I discuss with her saying yours behaviours making me feel upset,makin me feel that you don't love and care me,then she says I have beginning of migraine,so advised not to think deeply bla bla.or I have headache so don't make me more panic and tries leaving..Says its because of health,I am being like this so don't think it other ways... always Same. I am really frustrated of her,am hungry for love and care. she used to seNd me mails at facebook three four times a day.but nowadays she just send one or two or even no mails.. because of this I have stopped sending mails but when we talk about it she oppositely uses this reason that I didn't so she too didn't mail me..and before a month I had told her not to contact her ex,also I made her to take promise.. but before a week she said that she got call from him and picked and Talked.. I had told her if she is in contact to him,it will cause break up between us but despite of that she received call.. huff its so annoying.. and yesterday morning I called her for chat.we did chatting but she left after sometime.may be it was because of bad network. she should have known I would be waiting for her. but she didn't bother to even miss call me. and then even not mailed me before she went college. later I found that she was using fb also mailed her friends but not me. I felt bad knowing that. I expected her to send me mail or contact me at day when she gets back for meal but didn't. and she only contact me at evening that was also by mail. no miss callsp no SMS. and at night me myself called her online and I discussed about it. but later she said she has to do notes so she leaving. and said she has health problem so it's being like that and said her health is important for me. I love her.I am too.worried about her na.but ..I don't know what's getting wrong. I am irritating her and being irritated too.. she till now have not contact me. I don't know what shall I do next. please suggest me...
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facebook, her ex, I love you, long distance Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Blonde68  +, writes (10 March 2012):
The last thing you want to be doing is looking for a replacement - what you need to be doing is addressing the problem.
It sounds like you have chatted before with her about breaking up since you mention she gets upset etc and blackmails you. Well as cold as I may sound, we are all responsible for our own happiness and you can not stay with someone just to keep her happy. Just be straight with her and tell her that you feel that you are the one putting all the effort in and that it upsets you and that you are doubting her committment to the relationship.
You can not continue like you are things need to be said, so my advice is TELL HER STRAIGHT!
A
male
reader, Aluenee +, writes (10 March 2012):
Aluenee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI wish I could leaVe her easily. I wish I could go for other girl.if I do so I will feel guilty only and dishonest feelings.. I haven't forgotten when she had last time once cried and said my love for you is true when our relation was near to end.. I am in dilemma what to do what not to do. if I start ignoring her she will again do emotional black mail to me. then I can do nothing and just forget everythi and talk with her normally but next same thing happens other day.. I feel lack of love and care which can't be fulfilled by others..
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2012): Been there before younger friend.
Love dies, like everything else, and for her something has died already, and most probably someone else is consuming a huge portion of her thoughts, even though this doesn't necessarily imply she is in a relationship. Contact her much less, and get ready for the worst. You are a man. Be strong please.
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A
female
reader, Blonde68 +, writes (10 March 2012):
LDR's have always left a bitter taste in my mouth, but I guess some do work out. However, it only works if both parties put equally the amount of effort it.
Having read your post, this isn't the case, it is plain to see that you are putting all the effort in. I hate to say it, but in my opinion she has drifted away and isn't big enough to be honest with you, which is extremely cruel - she is coming up with far too many excuses in my opinion for it to be anything else.
The best thing you can do is tell her how you feel and perhaps get some closure otherwise its just going to do your head in - if you cant do that, then keep yourself busy doing other things, don't contact her so often, or even try and go as far as not contacting her at all. Its a true fact, when you take something away from someone, they want it all the more - she will either contact you because she is missing you, or she will go her own way.
Good luck and I really do feel for you having been in a similar situation myself.
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