A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well, there is this married women I am very attracted to. Her husband is friend of mine and they have been married for about 5 years now and have 2 kids. Well, for the last year or so we have been talking a lot every chance I get and I think she is having an emotional affair with me, but we havent done anything not even hold hands. Their marriage is kind of on the rocks he cheat once, and I dont know why they are still together. When I do visit she gives me glances when her husband doesnt look or notices. We text secretly sometimes nothing serious though.I visit her at work sometimes just say hi or see if she hungry. When we are alone, which rare she acts totally different like we flirt more and certain things like touching her hand or face she does more openly then when others are around. Well, I asked out to lunch and she accepted we talk and I asked her if she loved her husband and she told me "Yes, but they dont communicate like we do and that their marriage takes a backseat to their kids" and her eyes were dilated(sign of attraction) when she was talked to me. Well, before I left her house I told her my feelings for her will never waiver and I told her I love her and she said I love you too, but we always tell each other I love you (really close friends) even around other people. I really do love her and I want to kiss, but I dont know if she likes me back or just using me. So my questions is am I just filling that void in her marriage that she is missing or is she really attracted to me, but is afraid to get physical. Yes, I do date other people its just being around her is my own personal drug and im hooked she is very intoxicated to me. Signed Really Confused Guy that Knows Nothing About Women.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2010): ~LOVE IS NOT A SIN~
The love that the two of you share is a blessing. Never be ashamed of or regret that you love her. She will always share a special place in your heart.
~AFFAIRS ARE A SIN~
You know what needs to be done.
God Bless~
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2010): Affairs NEVER happen. Accidents happen. Also, affairs NEVER take place because something is missing in a marriage/relationship. They happen because there is something missing or damaged inside of the person having the affair.
Relationships aren't meant to be a fueling station for having needs met. Truly healthy relationships are born by two healthy people coming together to share in a life.
Frankly, reading the story... it is pretty obvious that she's got a self esteem issue and hurt feelings over her husband having cheated on her. When a man or woman is feeling so rejected and hurt... they may yearn for someone to make them feel wanted again. Being cheated on hurts like hell.
And there you are ... all jealous of your friend... wanting his wife... finding the opportunity... and putting a bee in the ointment of all of your lives. I frankly don't give a flip whether you want your friend's wife or not. She's off limits. Have some respect man to man for your friend. If you'd be willing to compromise your friendship... you'd be willing to sell anyone out... frankly.. if I were in her shoes I'd take that as a BAD sign concerning who you are and what you are capable of... and I'd run for the hills. Hell, apparently there are no bonds that demand respect from you... the last thing I'd do would be to form any alliance with you of any kind... least of all indulge you in your fantasy.
Stop being a coward and a user. She's hurting. If you want to be her friend be her friend. Keep your shit to yourself and man up. 80% of homicides in the USA are crimes of passion. Keep your dick in your pants, respect your friend, and disappear. Better yet, why not clue your buddy in on your antics and let's see where he takes it. Cut the crap. Go find a single woman to play your emotional games with... hands off... she's you friend's wife and she's hurting... the last thing she needs is some dude who is needy looking to fill his own voids. You don't have to poach someone else's mate. Once again, cut the crap.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (20 November 2010):
In the case of nearly all affairs, they're born because there is something missing in the marriage, and never because someone loves them. You said it yourself, that their marriage is on the rocks, and that he cheated once. So she's either out for some kind of revenge, or is just trying to find something to fill the gaps. She sees something in you, but it's not love. It's more like a brief escape.
When it comes down to it, you're doing the dirty on your friend, and worse you're both doing the dirty on their children. And that's all this is. It's two people thinking they're in love, when in fact it's just some escape from daily life. And that needs to stop. What you don't want is to be found out, only to be the one blamed for ruining the kids' lives, which is what will happen.
If she truly loved you, she would leave and would come to you. She's not leaving, and you're being drawn into something that will ruin too poor kids lives.
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A
female
reader, SoPrecious +, writes (20 November 2010):
 I've been on both sides. To me, this woman is vulnerable and very confused. Here you are giving her the attention and mental affection she wishes her husband would give her. The feeling she feels or may feel for you aren't real. She is in love with her husband. Its not right for people like us to interfere with a broken relationship, its not our place but I understand, feelings for a person is hard to let go but you have to try to get pass her plus you are "friends" with the husband. I say this because I'm in a similar situation and it hurts. I don't want anyone to suffer or go through this pain I feel at times. Good luck my dear!!!
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