A
male
age
30-35,
*arlgoo
writes:My gf is always very nervous when we are together especially when i hold her hand or touch her leg or when we kissed for the first time. She is very great to be around when she is nervous too but i sort of feel bad for making her feel nervous. And she said it was fine and we have talked about "butterflies" I finally got the courage to ask her the other night if she meant "turned on" by nervous and she said both (embarrassingly too) I just want to be able to help her relax. I am her first bf. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, karlgoo +, writes (9 October 2008):
karlgoo is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks inyourdreams that helps a lot. Blue angel i didnt really like how you assumed a lot of things instead of asking questions? i guess i would of liked that more but you do have good points and i know you mean well
A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (7 October 2008):
 It sounds like your girlfriend isn't quiet ready for the physical contact that had already begun. I would suggest taking things a bit slower. Let her know that you are ok with not going further than the hand holding if it is what she wants. Let her give you the cues to make the next move.
Remember that at the current status of being the first she is very inexperienced. Hormones are raging most likely with the both of you. Slow things down and bit and let the idea of romance fill your lives. Don't rush into carrying things too far to fast. Romance is one of the best parts of a giving, nurturing relationship. Already having the feeling of Butterflies* that is wonderful, take the time to experience fully those feelings without any other physical contact.
You two have to keep control of yourselves and keep your self respect, while giving respect to one another. Another part of a good relationship. Reassure her that you care and that there is no need to rush things. Go out in groups, don't spend too much time alone. Do things together where you are in public. Spend time talking on the phone. Asscoiate yourself with her family and friends when she is ready. Give her choices and let her know that you respect her.
Think about it...her first b/f, her first kiss, her first chance for romance, her first time for alot of things. She probably isn't quite sure what is or isn't even acceptable. She could be concerned that not going further could push you away. Let her know that it's really ok and she has nothing to worry about. Being nervous and turned on is pretty normal but what you choose to do about it is a CHOICE that you two must make. There really is no need to rush for if really care for one another then every step you take into the relationship can be a happy one if well thought out. Remember to RESPECT YOURSELVES and RESPECT ONE ANOTHER. It will be a good foundation on which to start a lifetime of a great friendship or a lifetime together.
God bless,
Blue_Angel
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2008): Ah, new, sweet love. Don't feel bad because she feels nervous... quite the contrary! Having a first boyfriend is very, very exciting, and being nervous is part of that excitement. Trust me, she is enjoying this so much. Just be gentle with her, don't rush things and treat her with respect and care. Believe me, this is such an important thing for her right now... this feeling of being nervous eventually wears off, so she'll start felling more confident and trusting you more as she knows you better. Make this excitement phase the best for her, just enjoy it. Eventually, as you get to know each other better, things might progress into a more serious relationship, which will mean you'll respect, trust and love each other.
Don't feel bad about this, as I said before. Be happy because you're such an important person in her life right now.
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