A
female
age
41-50,
*iller
writes:Im very happily married and met someone on a works night out - i have really fallen for him (have only kissed him so far but he drives me wild)i have very strong feelings for him, but love my husband and dont want to hurt anyone. Please help Reply to this Question
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male
reader, agony_uncle_r +, writes (17 February 2007):
how is it possible to use the words 'love' and 'happily married' in a post that suggests you want to have a relationship out of marriage?
STOP
try looking at the real issue and not the 'outside' excitement (which isnt real, just a side show). after years of marriage things are bound to of stagnated and routine. communicate, turn off the tele, go out for dinners together, take sex out of the bedroom, make it less predictable.
this other guy will do nothing but ruin your marriage and your reputation, avoid him like the plague
A
male
reader, Raul +, writes (16 February 2007):
 Hello Miller,
Well what can I say?... STOP! Stop right now unless you want to completely ruin the relationship with your husband. Everybody enjoys the start of their new relationship, it's exciting, interesting, fun, sexy etc, these things deteriorate during time. You married your husband for life and it has to be worked at, through thick and thin, richer and for poorer etc! Everybody and anybody including your husband can go for another 'mate' to 'spice' their life... but look at what you are loosing... you will completely destroy your relation with your husband/family/friends. Unfortunately you have already made the move... even if you don't go with this chap now. In the future you may have another opportunity and think to yourself, well it felt good last time and I have already been unfaithful (because kissing is still intimacy) I may as well go the full hog and go for it... there's absolutely no point in cheating. If for instance something did happen with you and this guy, there will be a point again within that relationship that you may look elsewhere. It sounds like you are lazy in your relationships... spice up your current one if need be. Discuss with your husband both of your needs and thoughts, I am sure that he would also like to relive those days when both of you got together.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (16 February 2007):
 You've listed many of your traits and described your life. You forgot to mention that you're very cunning, a liar, disrespectful and grat at fooling yourself. If you're sooooo happy with your man, why are you rolling the dice with lover boy? Obviously you don't mind hurting your husband at all. If you did, you wouldn't see the other man. Because, if you husband finds out he'll be.....HURT. How can you even descibe what you did as "only" kiss him. That is intimate and personal and crossing the line.
Here's the thing.....you need to focus on what you've got. Think about this, you leave you husband for the new guy, next thing you know you feel "wild" about another guy, so you leave man number two, then you meet another.....get my point. Marriage is supposed to be forever, not until you meet another guy with great qualities. How shallow is that? Where would the cycle end. Look at the good things you have and stop chasing rainbows that don't exist.
Relationships mature and evolve. They become deeper and more profound. You've barely scratched the surface and you've already created a huge crack in the foundation. That is your fault.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2007): Okay. If you don't want to hurt anyone, and you say you love your husband, you will stop all contact with this other man, now.
You know darn well that you are married, and therefore not available to act on your feelings for this man.
That's all there is to it.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (16 February 2007):
 Knock off this nonsense and nobody gets hurt.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (16 February 2007):
 If you love you Husband and don't want to hurt anyone, then i would stop seeing this guy that you met on a works night out.
Ok so you have kissed him, leave it at that at get on with you marriage to your Husband. If you continue with this other guy, however fun and exciting it may be, people invariably get hurt in these situations.
Good luck x
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A
female
reader, Fishin06 +, writes (16 February 2007):
 If you really love your husband, you will stop this! Your husband must have drove you wild at one time too, try & get that back & it will be ok. My man left mje for the nieghbors wife 6 months ago.. you have no idea the complete devestation this has caused myself, my family, not to mention her poor husband & children. Tread very carefully, it is not right to hurt people that trust & Love you , it will come back on you & you will regret it.
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