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female
,
anonymous
writes: should i mention getting tested for herpes again to my boyfriend? we went through a tough time a few months ago when he told me he had a rash on his genitals--he tried getting tested after that but then the rash went away and the doc. couldn't see anything and told him to come back in 12 weeks. I feel weird about bringing it up again because it really upset me that he might have herpes when he first told me and I almsot broke up with him about it. WE have never had sex of any kind with each other and we don't plan to unless we ever get married, but I feel that whether or not we have sex he should know whether or not he has herpes at all and I should definetly know as well. I don't know how to bring up the subject again without making him feel like i'm on him about getting tested...if it was the other way around i think i would feel ashamed if my partner brought it up again for me to get tested, but i think it's really important for both of us to know...and it surprises me (and bothers me) that he hasn't said anything about getting tested...we were both there when the doc. told us how long to wait until he was to get tested agian--i labeled it on my calender...and the 12 weeks are already up...maybe herepes simplex II won't affect us if we aren't going to be sexually intimate with each other, but what about if he has herepes I in his mouth and he can pass it on to me by just kissing? Then that would definetly affect me now and I don't want any std especially if I'm not having sex with anyone--why should i just sit back and not ask any questions about his sexual history if it's going to affect me? I don't know how to bring this up to him without making him angry and having him withdraw from me or...I don't know..any help would be greatly appreciated
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broke up, herpes, kissing, sexual past, std Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, nicolexue  +, writes (11 January 2008):
There are over 65 million Americans currently living with an STD, 19 million new STD infections each year, one in three sexually active men and women living with Herpes, and about 50% of all sexually active Americans affected by HPV. One-third of all single and dating Americans now exploring online personal ads (BusinessWeek, 2006) and niche dating has never been hotter at STDromance.com
Good luck
A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (23 September 2006):
 You need to talk to him about it, explaining to him that once he has been tested and it's all clear he can move on from it and forget about it and explain you are only thinking of him, you can't push him into getting tested again but if you make him see how important it is for you then he should at least respect how you are feeling regarding this.
Good luck :o)
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