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female
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anonymous
writes: Ok, will someone please tell me ways to get over this or tell me about your embarassing things? When i was a kid. I know under 10, my mom babysat these 2 kids and there was a baby and i think he was sleeping. Well, i got on top and don't know if i humped. Then when i was still young. I don't know how young maybe 8-11, I put my breasts in my cousins face and she was really young too. but thats all i did and then i did stuff with my older cousin who is younger but more my age since i was younger til i was 15 and i don't even know, i think it was just to do it. Not that i liked her.EW! and i am straight because you know how girls joke around and are like, oh yeah we did stuff last night. Well, i think it's gross thinking of it. I know it seems like this big bad thing because you hear all these people who rape people and it makes me think i raped that kid my mom babysat but i was a kid myself but i think i knew better. I don't know. I knew alot about sex at a young age and people call it curiousity. I guess since LOTS of people tell me to try and get over it, i think the more that do and the more that explain to me how normal it is, i will eventually get over it and stop worrying. TONS of people on here told me it's not rape but i think different just because of everything that goes on today and when someone mentions rape, i think of that now. I would never rape anyone. Oh my god, the people who do that ..you know like those 30-50 year old guys raping 12 year old boys and girls makes me sick maybe i just need to remind myself i am not old like them and wasn't an adult. and another thing is last year or the year before i thought about relatives when i was masturbating but i DON'T anymore. It's gross! Now, ever since my ex boyfriend who was controlling and made me tell him everything, I get like a 1 second sexual thought of people i shouldn't and i never did before him and i mean like thoughts about anyone friends,a baby i babysit (only because of when i was a kid ..i don't actually think of it.. i think i just think of the past and i am babysitting so i think of that..sorry if it is confusing) ..umm grandparents and relatives. I honestly don't think of anything like this on purpose anymore because i think it's gross and when i get those thoughts i say ew gross so that's what i mean by a second thing or whatever. Please help. I'm sorry it was long but PLEASE. Thanks so much everyone! I come to this site the most because everyone is honest and doesn't judge you unlike yahoo advice that they have now. The people are rude there, well most. Please if you think you should just make me feel better don't. Oh wait, 1 more thing, i feel like i don't deserve anything because of this. My parents bought me something expensive awhile ago and i could of cryed because i didn't think i deserved it. I have an amazing boyfriend but don't think i deserve to be happy. Thanks all!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007): Dont wory u normal my besy done same she fine b happy
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2007): hi!
i dont think u need to feel down at all! every1 of us has done bad things in life its all part of growing up and understanding life! dont think of it like rape cus its not at all!!! u were still very young and didnt have much understanding! ive done bad things before but i try to think of it as a lesson! ur very brave to say wot happened! and i think if u were such a bad person u wouldnt say it out! cus bad people dont think of stuff like "eww its gross" or "i cant belive that happened!" they just do it again n again! dont let it eat u up cus ur life is worth so much more than to mess it up and dwel on things that were in ur past! when i think of the bad things! i do something good to get over it! cus i know im a good person, and u should to! everything u do in life its a lesson for the future! or after life! life is to persious!!!
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A
male
reader, fallenman  +, writes (26 September 2006):
 You are very brave to even anonymously declare what you know. The events you mention are not uncommon but the memmory of your involvement in these events appear to be distressing to you. The emotion of guilt you express can only be fixed in one way. You are both Judge and Jury, its up to you to decide to forgive yourself. This is not easy but the alternative of constant self pursecution which can drag you into depression.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2006): go to a counciler you need professional help we are not professionals.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2006): i can't say everyone has done this when they were kids. but i bet there aren't many if any in this world who can look back on their childhood and not cringe about a couple of things that they did as under 10's.
there is a video of my aunties wedding with me on in 1995 with me shouting out that i need to find the toilets, awful i know. i haven't seen it for around 7 years and it is still as clear as day to me now at 18. i even remember saying it!
well telling your story to people on here will help you, getting anything thats bothering you off your mind and hearing peoples views on it helps in any situation. i would suggest in trying as best as you can to move away from it, as hard as it may be. i dont think it is somthing you will forget about, but the less you think of it the better. realise that you are older and wiser and will continue to get smarter as time goes on. try spending time with your boyfreind, go to the movies and out on dates and so on. concentrate on him.
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (23 September 2006):
 You seem really down about all this and you really don't need to be! Yes the things you did weren't nice but it's normal for curious children to do things like that to each other. I really think you need to get some help to get over this guilt. There's no way you don't deserve things because of something silly you did all those years ago!
Rape is the wrong word to use here: nothing that you did was anything near rape. But no matter who tells you what on here, you're not going to get over this without talking to a counsellor. Get all this off your chest to someone who can help you see that this is not something to get all worked up over!
Good luck honey
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