A
female
age
51-59,
*hinachik
writes:How can I change things? My boyfriend is in the military and sometimes needs to go away for operations for weeks at a time. It's always been like this since we met 8months ago. There seems to be a pattern that for 2-3weeks we see each other once a week as he lives on base an hour away then he goes away.. Thing is I am finding it hard to get used to it and miss him terribly-almost like it's a break up.We usually keep in touch most days by text messages when we can't see each other and when he is away, but there are times and places where there is no reception or he is busy- nut usually after 2 weeks he won't answer at all until he is back at base and it foes quiet for days and we loose the connection. He always gets back to me eventually and then it's fine but the not hearing from him is hard. I would like someone elses opinion onThis as I'd like to change things as this is holding the relationship back Angus fustratiG. Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010): If you're finding it hard i suggest you talk to your boyfriend about it. I'm sure it's hard on him too not being able to see you as much as he wants to. If you really want to be together and put the effort in with regards to the LDR thing then you might be suprised as to how well you'll cope. I have a lot of respect for army wives. I wish you well.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (9 November 2010):
 Oh might I add, not sure the British army is like the American army, but from what you described it sounds about right. I do know they have shorter tours if they're deployed to Afghanistan, they're only gone for 6 months. If you do need to vent, and just need an understanding of how things work, feel free to message me.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (9 November 2010):
Welcome to the military. You can't change things, you just deal with it. Your boyfriend will be gone from time to time training in bases all over the US. There will be times he can't text you due to lack of reception, and they're not allowed to have them while they're training. He'll call or text when he can. There are clubs, social gatherings on base but they are mainly for army wives. If you google the name of the base you can find out if they have any area club for military girlfriends. Best advice I can offer you is keep yourself busy. Hang out with friends, family, take on extra hours at work, join a gym, etc.
However, if you find yourself not being able to handle this lifestyle..a LDR, on top of that he's in the military, then a break up is your best bet. Not every one can handle it. Being an army girlfriend/wife is pretty hard. I should know, I'm an army wife 24-7.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (9 November 2010):
The best thing I can suggest is that you speak to your boyfriend, and ask whether there are social events for wives and girlfriends of military employees. Most Regiments and such have social clubs for women and men just like you, who are feeling lonely, and benefit from being around others who are in the same situation. You will be one of many women in the same situation, feeling the same thing. So my advice is to try and get to know other women in the same situation. I'm sure they will be able to offer you support, and in turn that will make you feel more secure about it all.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (9 November 2010):
The best thing I can suggest is that you speak to your boyfriend, and ask whether there are social events for wives and girlfriends of military employees. Most Regiments and such have social clubs for women and men just like you, who are feeling lonely, and benefit from being around others who are in the same situation. You will be one of many women in the same situation, feeling the same thing. So my advice is to try and get to know other women in the same situation. I'm sure they will be able to offer you support, and in turn that will make you feel more secure about it all.
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