A
female
 ,
*oodle
writes:iv been married for only a month but have been with my husband for a year and a half but i think that im falling in love with my husbands best friend i love my husband but i have a really good connection with my husbands best friend and i dont know whether i should pursue this to see if anything comes of it!?
View related questions:
best friend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2006): I dont think it matters how long you've been married and it doesnt come down to the vibes or feelings of the Boyfiend/husbands friend either.
I fell in love with my husbands best friend 5 years ago. At that time his marriage was collapsing and I had a new baby. I have NEVER TOLD him or my husband. It is painful. I only see him maybe 5 times a year, I adore his kids, and he ours. I love my husband but he is 25 years older than me. He is no longer sexy to me and I fail to get aroused by him. I often have erotic dreams with his best friend in them I express my love and he uncovers a secret desire and love for me. I accept these are just dreams and not reality. For the sake of my marriage and my child's future I am faithful to my man. But that doesnt stop me thinking that maybe one day when my man is gone, and we are old and gray....maybe, just maybe he'll say he feels the same.
A
female
reader, chirpychicken +, writes (17 June 2006):
 firstly, why did you get married in the first place if you knew you had feelings for this other man? please think this through. it can hurt a lot of people and you could end up with nothing if you go ahead with this. are you sure your husbands friend is interested in you because if he doesnt it could all backfire just remember, he is his best mate after all and if you confront him with it he might tell your husband that you hit on him then you will end up being hurt. the grass is not always greener hun, believe me my bf had an affair with one of my best mates just over a year ago and although were still together he regrets every second of it so please think about what your doing and be sure you want this before you hurt everyone around you. if not try and be happier with your husband. try and see why you loved him in the first place and why he loves you and think of the reasons why you make eachother happy. book a holiday in the sun and try and rekindle the romance. I really hope you do the right thing.good luck to you
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2006): I'm having the same problem, girlfriend. I am confused. Plus I know he likes me, but he has a girlfriend.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2006): What a question !Life is not a playstation game. It's real.Your husband deserves better. Take him out for a pub lunch and tell him you have these feelings, I'm sure he'll feel great about you. What if he told you he understood because he'd been having a relationship with the chief bridesmaidsince the wedding. All fair then......????????
...............................
A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (13 June 2006):
 I can fully understand this. At the moment you feel like you ahve nothing to focus on - that your wedding is over, so what next? Are you craving excitment? Are you a closet commitmentphobe and you are realising what a marriage vow means? There are many people on here that will slag you off for having these feelings, but to be honest that is all they are. It is OK to have feelings, the problem comes when we act on them.....that is when things get really messy.Maybe it is the 'grass is greener' syndrome or the lure of what is now considered fully 'off-limits' or forbidden fruit.
Whatever you do, do not act on these feelings. Sit back. They will pass. They are probably a reaction to the upheaval and stress of your new marriage. Give yourself a chance to breathe and don't act impulsively.
Good luck.
xx
...............................
A
female
reader, Angel ron +, writes (13 June 2006):
 GO FOR IT BABE LIFE IS TOO SHORT
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2006): No wonder the divorce rate is so high with people like you around. You VOWED to your husband that you would be faithful and love him forever only a month ago. It wouldn't hurt you to remember that.
...............................
A
reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (13 June 2006):
 Answer is definitely not! I keep stressing this, it always seems that the grass is greener on the other side. It does seem quite exciting and thrilling to be feeling the way you do now, but believe you me, its just a phase and its not worth losing your husband over! When you get over this, Im pretty sure you'll go through it again at least just another once more sometime down the line with probably another guy, but you know whats the best part of this? Its the fact that the majority of people go through it as well! We're bound to be attracted to someone else (be it physically or emotionally), but we have to ask ourselves, is this lust worth losing what I have for? I personally feel lust will always be lust and that it will never ever be worth losing anything for! Life's so much more than that! Just remember, whatever choices you make now, you'll bear the repercussions later! Good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, auntie claire +, writes (13 June 2006):
 oh dear noodle you are in a pickle i've been in this situation not very easy is it but you have only been married a short time do you really want to risk everything. when i wrote in for advice abotu this i was told to weigh up all the to good and bad points abotu them both and you could find that they are very alike thats why you feel so attracted to him. only you can answer to your heart but you really need to find out why you like him so much, how it affect everyone involved you need to look at every aspect of what you would be doing
i wish you the best of luck with this and if you need to chat you can contact me direct
i knwo how you feel and i just had to learn to live with it
good luck xxx
...............................
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (13 June 2006):
 Hmmmm why did you get married? Perhaps the fuss of the wedding has now passed and you are a little bored. You are supposed to be on the honeymoon period now of your marriage yet you are looking elsewhere. I would look at what is wrong with your marriage and your relationship with your new hubby. If you really do love him then you just wouldn't go after his best mate as that is just horrible - there would be no winners if you pursue this relationship. Do you think you might be jealous of the attention your hubby spends on his mate, and maybe want to get in on the act? You must be really angry with your husband about something he has done, or failed to do, because having an affair with his mate would just mess up his head. Remember that marriage is supposed to be based on trust, and if you break that then your marriage is based on a lie. If you think you are going to have an affair with his mate, at least leave the guy first as imagine how he would feel if he know what his bride was thinking? I hope his best mate has the integrity and good character not to pursue you.
...............................
|
