A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boy friend for 10 months. He was very clear from the start that he didn't want an open relationship, even though I have had some with my exes in the past, and that he wouldn't tolerate me sleeping with another guy. I accepted it, even though I was enjoying a fulfilling and varied sex life before meeting him, unlike him who has never found casual sex satisfying.But today he just admitted having cheated on me yesterday. He went out with his mates, got really drunk and high and it seems to me that he was almost abused by some nutter.He is very apologetic and was crying on the phone. He loves me very much and was devastated at the prospect of losing me.I don't want to think about it too much, and I don't want to drag this on forever, at the same time I don't want him to think that he can take me for a ride and that I can forgive him too quickly. What shall I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Hopeful Romantic  +, writes (8 November 2007):
 Ten months is not a long time ... and he is already cheating on you?!?! Once a cheater always a cheater.
I feel I can say this because 8 out of 10 of my boyfriends cheated on me and I gave them all a second chance and they all cheated a second and a third time.
I suggest to every woman who loves her life to stay away from all controlling men! You will never be happy if you don't.
There are men out there who do not cheat; you'll find him if you give it a chance; don't give up now.
I know you are probably reading this thinking to yourself, "Oh, but I love him and and he loves me!!!" Are you going to be saying that the next time he cheats on you... lying down with someone while you sit at home waiting for him to call?
Think about it, listen to your heart; you know what to do ... do what's best for you!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2007): I personally went through the same problem,
my boyfriend had promised me he wouldnt talk to his past sex partner,
but went behind my back for 4 months & did anyways.
he did a whole crying scene, but i too didnt feel it was right too forgive him too easily but i wasnt about to let him think he can step all over me.
i told him i'd give him one second chance.
& thats what you should do, if he truely loves you he'll watch what he does next.
explain to him how you feel.
-best of luck.
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