A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey there,This is a pretty hard topic to talk about and I dont really know where to stsart, i guess first things first is my mom is an alcholic and i really dont know how to handle it, i turned to smoke, then quit that cuz my bf helped me stop, and i love him for that, but we have problems to that dont help me cuz i am dignossed with depression and my moms drinking and my step dads yelling and my brother and his gf living here and my bfand i, well they're all just problems so i really need help figuring all this out and helping me be happy so 1. my mom how can i help deal with her drinking, i cant force her to stop and i cant stand being in the same house when she is drinking, ive sat down and talked to her when she is sober but it dont help, she goes to meetings dont help2. my step dad, he yells constantly about me not doing stuff around the house and i do way more than he does, i have a job and cant always do it, he yells about how i always ask for rides, i dont know how to calmly talk to him.3.my brother and his gf just take up so much space here, my brother trys to make me do stuff and act like my parent when he is 22 and should live on his own, i cant stand him tring to me my sec. dad and ive told him that and he just says well you dont respect them so i have to try and be them, and then his gf always accuses me of taking her stuff when i told her i would always ask and she still thinks i take stuff i can stand being accused of stuff i didnt do.and last but not least my bf...alright i trust him but not girls, i love my bf i may be 17 almost but i feel it he makes me happy and laugh and smile, but for some reason i always think he will cheat on me or is, ik he aint but my worst fear in the world is loosing him to some other girl or cuz he hurt my emotionaly by lieing or cheating or keeping things from me...he is my world and i just need help trying to trust our relationship.so ik this is alot but it would really help me out if you could help me on them it would mean alot to me, thank you :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2009): Hey! i am 12 years old and i know how you feel. my mom is an alcoholic and my dad has maniac depression disorder. this means that when one parent is actually functioning normally, the other one is lying in bed or getting drunk. it makes me sad to know that a glass of wine means more to my mom than i do.
however, whenever i get really down and start thinking bad thoughts, i think about the future. when i am 18 i will be able to get of this house and when i am a mom i will NEVER drink and my children will have a great life- this makes me happy.
anyways, (sorry about how much i wrote) think about something that makes you happy and keep your hopes up high. there are millions of other people who are going through the same thing as you so basically HAVE FAITH!!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all, i hope it helps, i wish i could just leave it all but i cant, and no my step dad does work and my brother is laid off and going to college so he cant move out :( idk thank you i might up date and tell you how everything is going :)
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (17 November 2009):
 I strongly suggest you check out Al-anon/Alateen. It's an organization aimed at people like you, trying to deal with an alcoholic in your home:
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/contact.html
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2009): tbh, it's better for your sake that your brother lives with you as your mum's an alcoholic. So he can take care of things if they get out of control, As for your boyfriend stop worrying or it'll cause even more pressure for him and that's not healthy.
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A
female
reader, Another_Kapiti  +, writes (17 November 2009):
 Poor you, it sounds like you've been through the mill a time or two! Okay, 1. You aren't going to be able to stop your mother drinking, no matter what you do, if you hide the bottles, she'll just get more (my father is an alcoholic, so I completely sympathise!) What I'd suggest is phone a teen helpline that specialises in alcohol related problems, they should be able to give you support and or help with your mum.2)(again, I sympathise, my step father was exactly like this! It was a scary time for us, walking on eggshells) Does he not work? You mention that you work and do more chores than him (awful if he's of the disposition that it's 'womens' work' and won't lift a finger to help) so perhaps you could also say this to the helpline people?3) You are in a bit of a pickle if you've been brought up to respect your elders, as your brother is older than you, but sounds like he acts this way because he has to be 'the man of the house' as neither your step dad nor your mother act as parents. As for his girlfriend, she sounds a sandwich short of a picnic anyway, why does she think you take her stuff? Tell her to hide her things if she thinks you take them!4) Your boyfriend. Well, you hardly have had the proper role models in trust and love, so I can't blame you for having trust issues with your boyfriend! How does he intereact with other girls? Slightly friendly or over friendly? He makes you happy, makes you laugh, and so far (I assume) has given you no actual reason not to trust him, so give him the benefit of the doubt!And the depression, well..that needs to be addressed quick sharp! Because of everything you're going through/living with, you feel trapped and out of control and I'd guess this is where the depressive feelings are coming from, you need to talk to someone, a guidance counselor at school perhaps? A trusted teacher/friend/friend's parent, someone who can give you advice with maturity.I wish you the best of luck and hope I've helped!
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