A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My partner has IBS and says that she did not tell me as she thought i would not understand and finish with her when I found out and she says that she is so afraid that she will have a attack when we are in bed and i have tried to talk to her but so far have no responce from her. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, XxSophie84xX  +, writes (27 April 2015):
I have suffered with IBS since I was 15 and I am 20 now and I have never had an "accident" in bed. I didnt figure out what I had until I was 17 and by then had been with my parnter for a year so thankfully I was already in a comfortable stage in the realtionship to be open and honest about it, and hoefully she can with you.The thing with IBS is it can be highly embarrising, its not nice trying to explain to someone you have problems with your bowels. So you just need to try and talk with her and show you have no problem.IBS tends to affect people more physcologically then the actual pain as it affects peoples point of life. There is a constant worry. Just the other week I went climbing where they wuold be no toilets for 8 hours and all I could think was Im going to have an episode. Thankfully I didnt.IBS main trigger is stress! Does she know this? Its a vicious circle, the more you think about it, the more it will happen. So she needs to relac and as hard as it is try and not let it ruin her life.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2015): Reassure her if you can, that you aren't bothered about it and just give her privacy if she needs to go and try not to make it a big deal. If she can be relaxed about it with you and not feeling embarrassed she will probably feel a lot better.
Her stressing and worrying about it might actually make it it worse.
My boyfriend has IBS and I can't say he's ever had an attack in the middle of the act - but if he did I'm sure he would just get up and go to the toilet. It has happened plenty of times when we are out, I just try to make sure there is a toilet nearby. I wouldn't go on camping holiday with him in the middle of nowhere or something.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (27 April 2015):
She cannot live her life in fear, or let anything on this Earth stop her from enjoying her life. We worry too much about "what if's" instead of just seeing where things go.
If a bird high up in a tree was to think the way humans do "what if I fall?" "What if my wings are not strong enough?" And so on... it would never fly...But they just put their trust in what they can do, and just do it.
Tell your partner to go for it, and you BOTH will deal with any issues. It is more embarrassing to fail before you try, than try and fail.
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