A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,My boyfriend and I have been together for three years, like every other relationship we had our ups and down. Two weeks ago we broke; he never gave a real reason why. Desperate and confused I lied to him about being pregnant so he could talk to me. He did not sound happy at all in fact he was angry that I was bothering him. Unfortunately I’m crazy in love with him although he treats me like crap. Because we haven't seen each other in two weeks I asked him for us to hang out for a little bit just so it wouldn’t be awkward instead he told me no and for me to just make the date for the abortion. Obviously I’m not pregnant so I just told him to forget it and he didn’t have to be worried about it. But I’m left feeling hurt and devastated inside. I just don't understand how someone can say they love you one day and then hate you the next? Also am I crazy for lying about being pregnant?
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female
reader, Lily Moll +, writes (4 February 2008):
I agree with polarkite. You are better off without this guy. You lied, but his actions came before, and have nothing to do with that. In fact, his reaction to your story should tell you all you really need to know in order to move on: that he's not worth your time. I came across a tidbit not too long ago, that said if you broke up and have unanswered questions and are looking for closure, just make up a reason. Decide what you need to hear from that person, and make believe that they've said that to you. Write it down if you have to. Convince yourself that it's true. Maybe he's just a narcissist who uses people as long as it's to their advantage, and then discards them whenever they feel like it. Maybe he's doing you a favor by not giving you his true, crude, and selfish reasons (i.e. not enough head). And yes, definitely, you're not crazy, but it sounds like he's making you crazy. I mean, you were together three years and he just leaves you and doesn't give a reason? What kind of person does that? I'm sure you thought you knew him really well, and all the sudden he does this to you. That would make anyone crazy. My advice is to cut off contact with him, be thankful that you found out who he really is now instead of later, and start healing. You deserve better, and you'll find it in time. Take care.
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (4 February 2008):
 Lying about being pregnant is a "trap" tactic. It's mallicious because your intent with him is other than what was said. He does sound like a jerk. It's hard to understand why some people act the way they do, but some things just are and we won't be able to understand them.
Now relationships are based on trust. Your saying you're pregnant, when your not, threw out the trust. Weather he meets with you or decides not too, being truthful is what you do is important. With quite a few guys I know, the pregnancy trap, would ruin any chance of working things out.
Good luck, but I don't think this is the guy for you.
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A
male
reader, polarkite +, writes (3 February 2008):
 You are not crazy, but your ex-boyfriend's lack of communication and cruelty is clearly making you crazy. Given how shitty your boyfriend is treating you, I think it was okay what you said. Also his response further confirmed what an asshole he is. What you crave may not even be your boyfriend anymore. It simply might be closure. You'd like to have a reason for why he ended it, so you know why. The fact that he didn't give a real reason, leads me to believe it's something shallow (not enough head) or that he's simply been emotionally unavailable to you for a long time. Take heart in the fact it's probably some stupid reason that has more to do with your boyfriend and his lack of communication abilities, then you. He might come crying back to you, in which case you should give him an appropriate boot to the curb!
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