A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I dated for about a year and a half. I broke up with him because we were both in college and we were in different places in life. I was just starting college and he was graduating, and he resented me wanting to party because he had already done all that and was tired of it. We got back together after about six months but it never was the same. We broke up again and in this "off" period, he had sex with this girl that used to be my close friend and sleeps with everyone. Now he wants us to try again, but I can't. To me he just seems dirty and I don't want to be with someone that probably has an STD now. The weird thing is, although I don't want to be with him, I don't really like the idea of him being with anyone else either. What's this mean, that maybe once the gross factor wears off I might change my mind about him? It's confusing.
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broke up, got back together, my ex, period, std Reply to this Question
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female
reader, ailemaaax  +, writes (23 January 2011):
This kind of jealousy is normal, and doesn't necessarily mean you want him back. It's normal to feel regret when you see someone who have been with for so long moving on, especially when you are young and you have not had many long relationships.
As you begin to move on and see other people, you will slowly stop worrying about him and what he is doing, and eventually you will not care. (:
A
female
reader, OhGetReal  +, writes (23 January 2011):
 I say don't forget the gross factor, the fact that he "moved on" by having sex with your close friend is all you need to know, he is through with you and he chose her to rub your nose in it, don't be stupid.Don't make the mistake of second guessing your decision, don't regret it, you made the wisest choice, the only choice for you at the time and you need to cut all contact with this guy so that you can "move on". Moving on does not mean getting into another relationship or sleeping around with his friends or anyone else for that matter. You wounded his pride, you hurt his ego and he is "using" her to get over you.The only reason you don't like him moving on or being with someone else is because his actions hurt you, you're hurt. That doesn't mean your feelings are fact that you made a mistake, that you will change your mind, that he is the guy for you, that you are in love with him. You're not, you're hurt. Sit with those feelings and let them into your heart and mind, work through them and then turn your focus solely on yourself and your goals. Stop following his life and will only prolong your hurt and that isn't working for you. I know it is hard when you are hurting, but don't make a decision about someone based on your feelings of pain and wanting to stop the pain, it doesn't work that way.
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A
female
reader, FANTASSYGODDESS +, writes (23 January 2011):
 that is a tuffy one , but i think you answer'd your own question . it is dirty and it is a huge risk to take him back knowing he has slept around . be smart on this one std's are real. and so are feeling 's be true to your 's . good luck but i see you in a better place a better guy and a healthier relationship. be patient it'll come to you
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A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (23 January 2011):
 hi
i think nobody likes to be replaced, no matter what, i know i don't even if i have zero feelings for that ex! it is probably because you are still single and you imagine that he is all happy with someone else.
forget the gross factor, there are reasons why you split up in the first place so work out if those reasons are still present and if so is it something you could accept now. if not, he is not the man for you, so maybe you can move on too. your jealous feelings will pass don't worry, it is not a good idea to get back with someone just because you don't want someone else to have them
xx
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