A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im bi and i dont know how to tell my parent my mom already told me that if she ever found out that im bi that she wil say im not her daoughter and it kill me that i cant im afriad what do i do Reply to this Question
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male
reader, zayn +, writes (4 October 2008):
 even though you are a young adult, you have the right to feel as you do. be careful not to make your mother too mad right now. in a few years you can be more in control of your legal adult actions. being bisexual is natural for many women and men. i am a man who realized he could have relationships with men and women, but i did not fully accept this emotionally until i was 25. i would find other bisexual people online right now. if you meet someone bisexual or gay in real life right now, be careful. feel your mother out on the subject for a year or so.
peace...
A
male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (12 September 2008):
 For the record, let me state that I totally agree with Lotusmama's advice, and michelle's advice, too.
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A
female
reader, michelleAKAmandi +, writes (12 September 2008):
 Hey there...
I agree with lotus mama in most of what she said. Good advice!!
I am bisexual, however; I'm married and have not been bisexually active for 2 years, except in my mind...lol
I still think about other women and I share the fact that I do with my husband, but I don't act on it.
I have never told my mom and I am 40 years old. She has no clue about it and truly there is no reason she has too.
If you were lesbian and were in love with another woman and it was turning into a life long thing, then that would be different because you then wouldn't want to try to hide your partner from your mother. Again... if it's not necessary, I wouldn't worry myself with it.
I can understand you may want people to know, but again, what you do is your business.
Pay close attention to oldfools advice as well. Great advice there too!!
Good luck and let us know how things are going in your mind.
Michelle
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A
male
reader, oldfool +, writes (12 September 2008):
There's no one single answer that fits everyone. Lotusmama says she was crystal clear about her feelings at a very young age. I would wager, however, that there are a lot of people who, as the anonymous poster suggested, don't realise their real sexuality until much later. I personally know a young woman who was bi at 23 but is now almost completely heterosexual at 26. I was also bisexual for a very long time. Now I'm interested only in women, but in a slightly kinky way :) (and I don't mean anal). I really think it depends on the person.
I don't know about your case, but I would personally try to get away from this rigid pigeonholing. It's only modern society that tells you you have to be one of the three: straight, gay, or bi. And modern society not only has labels for all these things, it has attitudes and preconceptions as well. When you say you're lesbian, you're not just making a statement about your preferences in bed, in a sense you're telling society about your social preferences, and asking society to judge you in a certain way.
Society doesn't divide people into (for argument's sake) those who enjoy being spanked and those who don't. But if it did, it would become a major social label, "spankers" vs "non-spankers", with all kinds of crude jokes and epithets, attitudes, prejudices and whatnot. Coming out as a "spanker" would become a major social issue. You would be agonising over whether you should tell you mother that you're a "spanker" instead of whether you're bi or not.
I don't know if I'm explaining myself clearly. These social labels are only one part of a person's sexuality. I don't think you should be worried about these pigeonholes that people are imposing on you. So what if you get off on women? I got off on men for years and thought I was bi (according to the prevalent thinking). Now I don't think I'm bi at all. I'm pretty sure I'm straight -- but I do know I'm kinky! But that's got nothing to do with other people, and no one has the right to judge me on that.
I hope that you sort this one out. Despite what Lotusmama says, I'd wait for a while. See what you're like in 5 or 10 years, and then think of letting your mum know what you really are.
Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (11 September 2008):
 I disagree with anon, I was around that age when I discovered my intrest in females. It isnt something I was confused about, it was crystal clear to me. My first female relationship was when I was 16, and lasted untill I was 20. We still love eachother very much. Noting confusing about it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2008): You are too young to know your sexuality. You aren't bi you are sexually confused.
Good luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2008): If they are gonna cut you off for that, then it was probably worth it.
Flynn 24
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A
male
reader, oldfool +, writes (11 September 2008):
I agree with lotusmama. Your mum doesn't need to know your bedroom habits. What if you had a bondage fetish. Would your parents need to know? It's really your own private business.
I would never have told my father the things I liked to do in the bedroom, and to be honest, he never told me, either. He might have been straitlaced as hell, but on the other hand he might have been kind of kinky. Who knows?
So I'd take it easy.
Besides, as I've said before elsewhere, I'm rather dubious about these labels that people throw around. Don't pigeonhole yourself as "bi", or "straight", or "homosexual". Position yourself as "adventurous". Willing to try lots of things, unconventional things. That might include girls, it might include dildos, bondage, water sports, etc. Don't let people box you into categories you don't want.
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A
female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (11 September 2008):
It's always been my opinion that every parent should support and love their children no matter what their sexual prefrence is. My brother is gay, and had no issues coming out with it, and my mom is super supportive of him. I am bi sexual, but I never told my mom. Guess I figured it wasnt something she needed to know. I am married to a man, and have children, but enjoy female experiences as well. I dont want to know what goes on in her bedroom, and she dosnt want to know what goes on in mine. You might need to keep your intrest in females under wraps, at least untill you have moved out. She dosnt need to know that you have a thing for the girl next door, so don't worry about it too much. I know it must be hard when your mother puts limitations on her love for you, and I think its really wrong. Let this be a lesson to us and not raise our children that way;)
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