A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupids, my problem lies with my marriage. We married out of love 4 years ago. Have a daughter and live far away from home. Recently I have been feeling less love for my husband that it disturbs me a lot. I don't feel any pinch when I see him after some days if he travels, I don't feel the need to talk on phone when he is away and I don't feel to do something nice to impress or make him happy. All these are as a result of some behaviors I found in him after marriage. One, he is too secretive that he can hide the smallest issue regarding his whereabouts or his family. He has a 15 seconds autolock on his phones,he doesn't share his activities or schedules with me. In a nutshell, I feel lonely all the time. I can't even share my problems with him coz he won't do same. Recently, he buys food stuff in pieces that isn't sufficient though he is well to do. He spends most hours hanging out with friends and I stay home with my daughter and act her age. He comes home late lyk midnight or after. I don't know what to do. I have spoken about all issues severally but to no change. I don't want to be a divorcee but I find it hard living like this.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (29 May 2014):
 good luck with the counseling. I'm glad you asked him to go and he agreed.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDear cupids, thank you all for wonderful advices and most importantly, for the concern. I took up the marriage councelling idea and he has agreed to go after a lot of argument. I have seen some changes though even before we start the councel because he came home 8:50 yesterday and 9:03 today and have been acting so kind that it is hard to acbelieve it's from his heart. Perhaps he wants me to call off the councelling. But I won't. Once again, thanks to you all so much.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 May 2014):
your choice is simple... live the way you live and be miserable or leave the marriage.
he is not forthcoming with his life and he is holding you at arms length.
If you ask to go to counseling with him will he go? IF not I'd leave.
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A
male
reader, RevMick  +, writes (27 May 2014):
 Hi,
Do you hate him because he isn't spending time with you, or because he works away?
If he has a strenuous job or a high stressed job, it could be that he just uses the time with the boys to unwind.
If you only just started hating him, it may be less about him and more that you aren't happy having to be the stay at home mother. Did you used to go out a lot?
If you married for love, there must have been something to love. That doesn't simply disappear for no reason. Has he cheated on you in the past or are you afraid he is?
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