A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am attracted to a man who is 14 years older than me and in a position of authority over me as he is tutoring me for an exam. He has shown an interest in me too with many very flirty texts (the kind that can not be misunderstood) and lots of suggestive conversations in our classes, but he has told me he can't date me til I've passed the exam and he is no longer tutoring me. However, he took me on a spontaneous date one afternoon which was lovely, and now I want more from him.Is the age gap or teacher/student relationship wrong?I am quite worried that if he flirts with me like this, how can I know he doesn't do this with his other students?He has admitted that other students have had crushes on him, but they are just silly children and never have the guts to do anything about their feelings.How should I be playing this? Normally I can be quite sensible about guys, but this guy makes me feel like a silly little girl again, and all common sense goes out the window!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2010): This guy may be older than you, but he's shown that he's considerably less responsible. He's putting his career at risk by his actions with his students.
Do you really want to start a relationship with person with such poor judgement?
I know it's flattering to have his attention now, but this guy's a loser and you deserve better. Run like the wind!
A
male
reader, Brunel  +, writes (28 March 2010):
I do not understand 'a perv' that is adding to the confusion. You must make a balanced decision based on what you learn. Does his wife know about your flirty texts, how would she feel - ask him.
If you start a relationship with him it has to be open not in the closet, so you do things like a couple.
All said I feel he is abusing his position and should not act like this, I doubt it is the first time either?
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (28 March 2010):
So the oldest he is is 35? To me that's not old, but then I'm 26...you're an adult so I don't think that the age thing is that much of an issue. Life experiences etc. would make you less mature than him, but not necessarily in other aspects.
However, the other concerns you mentioned are something I was thinking of. It kind of sounds like a load of bullshit to me that all these other girls have had "crushes" on him, but they were just some silly children that didn't have the guts to do anything with their feelings. To me, that right there is crap. He's feeding you the whole "you're so different" line. I would take this very slowly, but it sounds to me like he uses naivete to his advantage to play all the little girlies he helps.
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A
female
reader, Moony127 +, writes (27 March 2010):
 I think it depends on how much you trust him. If you don't think the age different matters, then it doesn't, but, like Aliceinunderland said, he could be a pervert.
And when you say "how can I know he doesn't do this with his other students?" is there any way you can get in contact with them?
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A
female
reader, Aliceinunderland +, writes (27 March 2010):
 There is nothing wrong with the age you are, just be careful, if he thought there was nothing wrong with a relationship then, he'll date you, be careful he's not a perv///
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