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age
30-35,
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writes: My fiance an I have been together for 4 years and we have planned to get married after I finish school, He's a wonderful guy and I do love him but he has completely cut romance out of the relationship. He blames work, tiredness, not being in a mood, and the regular excuses I have heard for the past year. Recently his brother has moved in with us and we have a lot more in common concerning our intellectual levels, art, and some other areas. We have talked all night on a couple occasions and he keeps me company when my fiance is at work, or when my fiance is at home but buried in his own hobbies. We have danced around the subject a couple of times when I have threatened my fiance that I will leave him if he does not straighten up. We discuss sex and he is very liberal minded about everything, one of his comments was that if I had planned to cheat that cheating on a close friend (or even a brother, which leaves me a little confused at times). His reasoning is that it would be kinder than cheating with a stranger, but that is on of our debates. So I understand the emotion, though I will not go through with the marriage if I have any second thoughts. I have become more concerned recently because several consecutive dreams I have had. The first few were rather harmless, but the past few have gotten rather umm involved, though it was amazing. I like to believe in open relationships if the situation works for both partners, though it would not work in my situation so i am relatively stuck.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2010): Girl you are playing with fire. This other man just wants to f*ck you therefore he broached the subject of cheating. If you cannot remain faithful then I highly recommend that you get out of your finace's life. You are not ready for a proper committed relationship let alone marriage. I want to also forwarn you that any brother who wants to fuck his SIL is no brother at all. Does this other guy work? Does he contribute to the expenses? Does he actually know what brotherly love is?
A
female
reader, Lotsalove.  +, writes (8 August 2010):
 Firsly, Open relationships are VERY tricky. Everybody is getting something and someone, BUT you two are a couple.. an engaged couple at that, planning on getting married! Marriage is monogamous, therefore if your having doubts about marrying your fiance then you need to discuss (In more depth) the needs and wants you have. If your boyfriend loves you, he will accept how you feel and want to work towards these, and vice versa should he have any that arent being fulfilled.
You may have alot more in common with the brother, but the brother is not the one you love, he's not the one your planning on marrying. Honestly ask yourself, could you cheat (whether with or without his brother) on your fiance and not feel guilty about it? Everybody has wants and needs, if they aren't being fulfilled in a relationship.. thats when people start looking elsewhere for it (Like yourself). If your fiance isnt stepping up to working on his side of the relationship then marrying him is not the way forward (neither is running off with his brother).
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