A
female
age
36-40,
*onfoozled
writes:I heard a rumor about my boyfriend cheating on me, I immediatley freaked out, smacked him in the chest and screamed at him without giving him a chance to explain, left our house and stayed at my friends for the next 3 days. After I left, he didn't call me and try to explain or anything. I just cried and cried and after he didn't call for a few hours, I called him and when he finally picked up, he was furious that I had slapped him and didn't give him a chance to explain. He said the rumor was absolutley not true and he was fed up with me accusing him of things that were not true. I am always suspicous of him.Now that we've had our space, I've come to realize I will never be able to know 100% if this rumor is true or not, but after hearing his side of the story, I am leaning towards believing what he has to say, but like I said, I still don't know for sure. I just know if I choose to stay, like I am, I have to get over this because I will never be able to be sure he wasn't lying!How do I get over it? How do I trust him again? How do I act towards him? Should I be 100% happy and positive and act like this never happend? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (3 April 2010):
 What you did was immature, irrational and impetuous. You should be calm and collected and and confront him in a mature and rational way.
Listen to his perspective first and then only decide to believed or disbelieved him or give him the benefits of doubts.
By going off your rocker, you could have send an innocent man to the gallows.
Learn from your mistakes and apologize to him .
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (3 April 2010):
 "I am always suspicous of him."
No matter what he says or what he dose, you never trust him and you never believe in him. It dosen't matter if the rumours are a lie, you will always believe the worst because you don't know how to trust.
Keep this up, and your relationship is finished. No one can stand being called a liar and a cheat all the time.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (3 April 2010):
 What is wrong with you? You never put your hands on another person. Violence is never the answer to a question. Never!
Second, did you stop to consider the source? Who told you your boyfriend was cheating on you? Did the person have any ulterior motives for telling you this?
You have to stop freaking out and accusing him of things he didn't do, otherwise he will go ahead and do them. That's a quick way to lose a love. You ask how you can trust him? HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO LOSE YOUR TRUST.
CaringGuy is right, you need therapy to overcome your issues. I don't see this relationship surviving if you don't get some help.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 April 2010):
You need to seriously look at yourself, before you go back or do anything with him whatsoever. You're seriously distrusting if you actually hit him over a rumour of which there is no proof. And this isn't the first time either. You've been accusing him of other things too, and he is now getting tired. You are going to wind up losing him if you don't get yourself sorted out. You talk about trusting him? Imagine how he feels. You don't trust him for the reason that you heard a rumour, on which there is no grounding. Get to a counsellor, sit down and talk about why you are so insecure. You are the one making this into something bigger than it is, and unless you want to lose him, you're the one who has to change here. There will be a reason you are so insecure and you need to find out what that reason is and fix it. But stop accusing him and distrusting him when you have no proof that he's done anything wrong, or he'll walk.
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