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I am afraid I am wearing out my older boyfriend with too much sex! What do I do?

Tagged as: Age differences, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 August 2013) 3 Answers - (Newest, 30 August 2013)
A age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Hello all.

I have a situation I need advice on. I am not sure if it is a problem or I am making it into something that it isn't.

I am 45 and my boyfriend is 15 years older than I am. He is very sexual and passionate and there are times he can get another erection within an hour after we have had sex and he can go at it again. Which is pretty amazing for a guy his age.

But when we were together yesterday he seemed a little more tired but never did admit it. I am very high energy and have a high sex drive. I am so excited and turned on by him that I am always all over him. I am always wanting to have another orgasm. I think maybe sometimes I forget the age difference? But I hardly ever notice it because he can really perform well and never gives me reason not to be satisfied. I always am.

But I think I pressured him too much today. He was not able to have sex twice and I think he may have felt a little inadequate. This was not my intention. I just want him so bad that I am over eager. How can this be a problem? Wouldn't most men 15 years older love the idea of a good looking, vibrant younger woman who cannot get enough of them? But at the same time I do not want to run him into the ground and send him running because he is afraid he cannot handle me. He does say that I wear him out... but he never did complain. He says he enjoys it. But I feel a little bad about today... pressuring him to perform again.

So how do you walk this line? I have never been with a man of this age difference before. We have an amazing chemistry and sex life. I just don't want to let him down.

Do I tone it down? Do I continue as I am? I even told him that I am just so excited by him and this is why I am always wanting more.

How do I proceed?

Any advice would be great. Thank you all.

View related questions: erection, orgasm, sex drive, sex life

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (30 August 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntjust because he can go twice does not mean he should or that he wants to.

he may be doing all this to keep you.. he may feel pressure he may feel you will leave if he can't perform for you regularly.

I sense this is a new relationship and if so, time will help with the excitement...

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2013):

first of all, the fact that he usually can do it twice but this time he did it once doesn't mean anything. it's the human body. sometimes like this sometimes like that.

secondly, don't try to read his mind. the simpler (and more practical) way is to talk to him. and make sure you make him feel comfortable enough to talk to you as well.

there is nothing wrong about asking for more sex, on condition that he feels comfortable to tell you what he really wants, and he receives a smile from you either if he said yes or if he says no.

one last word. almost no couple have equal sex drive. that's why toys are invented.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (30 August 2013):

CindyCares agony auntSimple : do not pressure him to have sex twice, if he does not volunteer himself. What do you expect, that a 60something guy should have the same sexual performances of an 18 y.o. ?

Do you know that at 18 the average refractory time ( the interval between male orgasm and a new full arousal ) is 1o-15 minutes ?...but it's already about an hour or so for a guy of 30 ?....It makes sense that a man in his 60s, no matter how healthy , may need several hours to recharge.

So, do not insist for a repeat performance, and if you still feel frisky, well, I do not want to be too descriptive, but there are obviously other things to do beside intercourse, right ?

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