A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi. im a 14 year old boy and i REALLY want to have sex. i can't stand it...im tired of people saying "just wait till your older.i want to now...i have friends at school who have already had sex. and if i get to i WILL wear condom...i just want to know how sex feels. and i dont wanna wait another TEN years before i finally get to...i need somebody but i don't know who. can anybody help me with this...?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2008): Well, at the risk of getting a hammering from the other aunts, for what it's worth, I'm totally on your side and believe there IS a way.
I dunno if I was just shit-lucky but when I was 15 and still a virgin and busting to lose that status, I met a girl a year older than me, who turned out to be the local bike. She was quite happy to do it with me just so I could see what it was like. Actually, it was fan-bloody-tastic!
Best of all, because we were emotionally detached, I wasn't made to feel like I should marry her or some such shit.
So, think positive, keep watching out for girls most likely to and - you never know your luck!
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (9 July 2008):
 Mate, just suck it up. I was gagging for it at 14 as well, so tough luck champ, that's life, get a packet of tissues and do what the rest of us did at your age.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2008): I'm a virgin and I'm 18 years old. From my experiences, I believe having sex should be meaningful. My guy friend is a major sex addict, but he told me that have meaningless sex is dry and boring. While having sex while you're in love is the best thing in the world, he knows cause he's been having a lot of meaningless sex with girls. I believe waiting is the best, don't let your urges get the best of you. You might regret it.
relationships are the best way to go, honestly, if you find the one. It'll be the best =), not just some girl you've dated for a month though.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2008): im only twelve and feel the same as u and some of my friends have already had sex but u do have to build up the relationship to get trust but by time im 14 ill have my realtionship built to where me and her will be ready to have sex we were planning on next year but we decided it would be best at 14
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (9 July 2008):
 Relationship FIRST, then the sex will follow. You've got to care about somebody before sex becomes meaningful, good, or in most cases at your age even possible.
With all due respect to my fellow "aunties", the "do it yourself" method is NOT just the same. There's a world of difference, not the least of which is the feeling of being close to somebody you really care about.
And if you're really lucky you'll manage to have your first sexual experience with a girl who knows a little more about it than you do. Two people fumbling around with no idea what's going on, or what's supposed to be going on, can really mess up what should be a wonderful experience for you.
But regardless of how your first time happens, it absolutely DOES get better as you and your partner gain experience and get to know one another better. Once you've managed to established a close physical relationship with a girl, I urge you to make it closer by being open and honest with one another. Talk about your experiences ... even the physical aspects of it. After all, you've already shared everything you can share ... how much closer can you get? You might as well talk about it too. And it really DOES help. Tell her what worked for you and what didn't, and get her to tell you the same things. Being shy about talking about it doesn't make a lot of sense when you're doing it, after all, and talking about it, having an open and honest conversation, can often head off problems and make a good thing even better.
But it all starts with the relationship. That comes WAY before you wind up in any position to have sex with anyone.
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A
female
reader, Tremor +, writes (9 July 2008):
 India has it spot on - You're going to find it hard to find a girl who'll have sex with you just so you can 'see what it feels like'.
I have to say it - if all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you do it too? So what if you have friends who have done it? Odds are, some of them are a)lying through their hormonal teenage teeth or b)going to regret losing it so young later on.
Don't be in such a rush.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (9 July 2008):
 Ahhhh, youth. Sex is about so much more than just wearing the condom. How do you think the girl who you have sex with will feel when you tell her that you
just want to know what it feels like"? I'm not saying that what you're feeling and expressing isn't a totally normal, healthy curiosity, but I am saying that it's going to be a real rough time finding someone to have sex with when that's your attitude.
Good sex comes with a good relationship. And, just so you know, the first couple of times you have sex it won't be that great. Believe me, it will be awkward, and it probably won't be everything you've hoped and dreamed. However, once you are with the same person for awhile and have lots of time to practice, sex just gets better and better.
So, if you're dying to have sex, you have to ease off from the desperation and work on finding a relationship and building that up. You won't have to wait ten years, just maybe another couple of years. And believe me, girls love a guy who ISN'T sleeping around. Virgins are GOLD!! It shows that you respect women and boundaries they have. It shows that you have good character and that you'll be an awesome boyfriend.
Oh yeah, and if you want to know what sex feels like, masturbate and often! It's just as good and comes with no strings attached!
Hope I helped (at least a little), sweetness!
xx India
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2008): well first you need to find a girl that you want to be with. then get into a relationship with her. you can't just have sex with a random person, that's being a man whore. and you don't want that. well unless that's what you wanna do.. but really find a special girl and start something with her. it might take time till she wants to have sex but it will probably be worth the wait. i'm glad that you'd wear a condom.. very smart. sex feels very good. it depends if you have sex with a virgin or not. if you have sex with a virgin, it takes time to pop her cherry and it may not feel good for you yet. but when it's popped it will feel good for you, may not for her but you get it. if you have sex with someone that's not a virgin than that's good for you. she'll already be ready and her cherry will be popped. it will feel good. also do you masturbate? you can get a little bit of an idea from that. well take care & good luck. xx
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A
female
reader, sugarkis247 +, writes (9 July 2008):
I'm a 14 year old female and i know how it feels. my friends have had sex and i wanted to do it to but waiting for the right time and right person is the best thing to do. and yea i know i sound like a freakin idiot preaching like this. but i believe that waiting is better then doing something you might regret
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