A
male
age
41-50,
*lue Star
writes:I am an adult male, have had sex a couple of times and have never really enjoyed it. The sex all seem mechanical with no real pleasurable sensation or feeling like you read about or see in movies. I also don't ejaculate during sex but ejaculate when I masturbate.Most times, the girls I had sex with enjoyed it greatly but not me.I also don't seem to enjoy kissing. It all seems just mechanical.What could be wrong with me ?Could it be it is because I masturbate alot ? I really enjoy the pleasure from masturbation.Or is it because I use condoms ?Or is it because I am in love ?But most men can have and enjoy sex even when they are not in love. That is typical of men.Does anybody have an idea what could be wrong and what I can do to solve this problem as I fear it may affect me when I get married.
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condom, ejaculate, kissing Reply to this Question
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male
reader, 19Mike  +, writes (31 August 2012):
Hey just wanting to tell you ure not alone. i have been with about 4 women an never really enjoyed sex but i have came once or twice also. i realy enjoy masturbating but i just dont enjoy sex. for a while i was afraid i was gay lol but im not. i actually was in love and i didnt seem aroused by other women other than the one im in love with right now. when we have sex its pure extasy for me like 1000000x better than sex so maybe and hopefully ure in love
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2008): I don't really have an answer but you sound a lot like me. I enjoy the physical sensations asociated with sexual activity but I think your description of "mechanical" really sums it up well.
Also, for the info of any readers, it's not like it's repressed homosexuality or anything. I'm quite open minded so I've experimented with that and it's pretty much the same.
I did hear that studies have shown that about 1% of the population may naturally have no interest in sex. I'm not sure how acurate this research is and I can't quote sources but in my opinion it is worth bearing in mind.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008): Hi it is possible that you are suffering from a condition known as "Ejaculatory Anhedonia". If you search for this expression ensuring that you include the quotes on google you will learn a lot more. By the way, I too have the same condition- I hope you find a solution.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2007): lol, it's okay dude. honestly, sex it not a big thing. okay, im kind of contradicting myself. well... i never had sex, but i always masturbate and i find that better than making out with a guy. i know what you mean... don't worry too much, if a girl really likes you then she shouldn't care TOO much about this problem. hopefully.
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A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (9 November 2007):
It seems you are not da only one.This condition is called sexual dissatisfaction or sexual dysfunction.It's very coommon in women who can't achieve an orgasm.However,it has also evolved in men.Sex is a mental exercise and begins in da brain.The moment you seperate your body from your mind and spirit you begin to feel that way.You need to train yourself to involve yourself spiritually the way you do it when you are musturbating.For professional help see a sex therapist.Don't let it drag you down,you can overcome it.
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A
female
reader, MollyR07 +, writes (9 November 2007):
Maybe you were brought up in a household where sex wasn't an acceptable topic and expressing that side was considered inappropriate.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (9 November 2007):
 I think if you get married like this, you may have a problem. Don't look at the mechanics of sex and kissing. It's not about that, it's about pleasing the other person.
Are you experiencing fear? Some people have difficulty if they fear their performance, fear pregnancy, fear disrespecting who their with, and there could be many other reasons.
There are doctors who deal with these issues. There are both psychological and physical reasons that may react in the way you're experiencing it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007): I'd also like to know, do you enjoy oral sex performed on you ???
I know that is the only sexual activity that I can actuall derive any sort of sexual pleasure from.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007): I suffer from the same problem as well. I am a female and I do not find sexual intecourse pleasureable at all! I don't feel anything. Not sure if I can be much of help to you being that I came here to seek advice too. Just want to let you know that you are not alone.
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