A
male
age
36-40,
*urannic
writes:Well, i'm 25 and I have never had sex, even I have never kissed a woman. So I have alrady decided to pay a hooker. I'm very exited about that, but at the same time scared. Am I doing something good or at the contrary? All the time I was expecting for somebody who really loves me and that I were interested in her, but nothing has happened, only troubles, so what I just want is to feel a woman. So what could you advise me?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2009): You must be really tired of choking the chicken a virgin at 25. Please don't expect for your upcoming date to be "special" for you both. It certainly won't be for her! Are you so unattractive and shy that you are unable to find a girlfriend in the normal way?Just keep beating it until you can get out there and meet some nice girls. You've got to put yourself out there if you want to find someone great.Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2009): I was in the same predicament as you at 25. Only I was so painfully shy I couldn't even talk to girls, let alone ask one out. While I agree with the sentiment "you should save your first for someone you care about," the reality is this seems like a physical issue not an emotional one. If you are looking for something purely physical to get it over with, I say go for it. I did the same thing and have no regrets. If anything, it helped me be more comfortable around women and helped get rid of the idea they saw me as "inferior" because I was still a virgin. I would just caution, if you do go that route, think of it as a one-time thing. Seeing escorts can be a VERY addicting behavior.Good luck and be safe!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2009): I'm 27 and never kissed a girl, but I did have (protected)sex with a hooker when I was 23. Afterwords I did look at women differently, but the change in perspective was short lived. I can tell you that it was the biggest mistake in my life. It wasn't even what I was looking for and I did it under the pressure of a friend of mine who I looked up to. All I wanted in my life was to enjoy the rush of a nice kiss and hold hands, now I'm cynical, bitter and lonely and find little hope in life left.
But while I struggle to fix myself, I was given the gift of the knowledge of and experience in certain things that might help you. I am highly confident that you don't need to have sex with a hooker from my personal experience. I can also say that unless you go out and talk to people not just women, you won't have the network and connections necessary to change how things are. Also if you do meet somebody, don't get immediately attached, definitely if the feeling isn't mutual. It is better to be able to walk away then to be needy and desperate.
But as you wrote this a few weeks ago, I can only hope it works out better for you.
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A
male
reader, Eurannic +, writes (3 October 2009):
Eurannic is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks a lot, I think you're right, but you know, sometimes I feel very alone and the only think in mind is to ambrace somebody. The other aspect is that i am a very complicated person, so it has been very difficult to be engaged with somebody.
Finally, did you happen to know a girl that weights 160 punds, has green/blue eyes, freckles and is red hair? if so, PLEASE! INTRODUCE US!!! jojojo
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2009): DON'T GIVE IT AWAY! I'm a 23 year old female who is also a virgin and believe that you should wait for someone really really special. People say that sex isn't a big deal but trust me, when you're 80 don't you want to remember (if you still have your memory) your first time being with the woman you love rather than a dirty hooker that sells herself for money? You mean nothing to the hooker so why do you think it's going to be any good?
Please wait, you've waited this long so what's a little longer in the grand scheme of things? Any girl worth your love will love you for not sleeping around.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2009): The moral ramifications of paying another person to have sex are a matter you'll need to decide whether you can live with. Many 'hookers' live horrific lives and are mired in debt or drug addiction or both, and many of them are enslaved to some degree by pimps. Some of them may be in a better position. I'm no expert. It does seem obvious to me that prostitution involves BOTH parties being exploited to some degree.
It does strike me that ALL the female advice the OP has been given here - though all of it has been nice, admirable and well-intentioned - has completely ignored his predicament by parroting the clueless 'Save it for someone special' mantra (all four of the female replies have in essence said precisely that), which entirely overlooks the reality that this guy HASN'T been able to find a willing sexual partner, or even been kissed, and that there's no indication at all that his situation is about to improve.
He HAS lost hope, as I'm sure most people (male or female) would if they found themselves in his situation. How can anyone here seriously 'promise' this guy that he'll find someone with whom he'll have an amazing sexual experience full of love and trust, or even any sex at all?
I think it's entirely natural and understandable that at the age of 25 he's decided that he would like to (or more accurately, feels a need to) experience sex with a woman, and feels that 'cutting corners' in this manner is the only option available if he doesn't want to remain a virgin for his entire life. I don't think for one minute that this makes him in any way sick, immoral, exploitative or a kerb-crawler.
OP, I confess I'm stumped for advice. But you've nothing to lose by checking out Frank's views, I'm sure.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2009): Not advisable at all. Save it for somebody you love not someone who will forget you as you walk out of the door.
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A
female
reader, Jen,  +, writes (13 September 2009):
 Your first time should not be with a hooker. That just makes you desperate to get rid of your virginity. Lose your virginity to someone who loves you because then it will feel extra special. Just because your 25 and still a virgin, doesn't mean you have to get rid of something so precious in most people's eyes.Just wait for the right person to come along.Jen x
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (13 September 2009):
 I did a special seminar for adult male virgins such as yourself. My advice is NOT to pay for it for your first time. It may satisfy the physical hunger, but it will never satisfy the emotional hunger.
The negative repercussions include using escorts as a crutch (so you never learn to be with a woman (unpaid) in a "real" relationship). That means that when the time comes that you are actually with a woman that likes you for you...you will be just as lost as to what to do to make a connection with her, as you are right now REGARDLESS of how many escorts you had sex with.
You can hear previews for free at
http://www.franktalks.com
-Frank Kermit
http://www.franktalks.com
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A
female
reader, jessjess +, writes (13 September 2009):
 Oh please please don't do this. This makes me feel so sad. Just because in modern culture 25 is considered 'old' to still be a virgin etc it really shouldn't matter. Please don't feel pressured and unworthy because you haven't found someone worth getting this close to yet. I promise that you will find someone with whom sex will be an amazing experience of love and trust. Completely different to hooking up with someone you don't know just to be able to say you are no longer a virgin. I've just split up with my boyfriend of a year and he was the first guy I slept with. I ADORED him and every time we made love it was exactly that...making love. It was so special. I miss him so much now that we are no longer together. I didn't want to break up with him but he wasn't sure he loved me enough anymore. He broke my heart. Please don't take sex for granted. Save yourself for someone who truly cares about you. It will be worth it. I really hope you do not go through with this hooker idea. Please?
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (13 September 2009):
 I understand what you are thinking and why. Send me a private message and I'll give you some advice.
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