A
female
age
36-40,
*onfusedtwatdotcom
writes:Hi.. I am 22 living at home and my mom is making my life hell!!!I hate the fact that she is always picking on me for something even if it has nothing to do with me.If she wants something done and both me and my sister are in the house then she will call on me, even if i'm already doing something she asked me to do and make me do it, then she will complain that the thing i was doing in the first place hasn't been finished.I work full time in a supermarket with really awkward hours and she gets 3/4 of my paycheck. She even shouts at me if i've bought anything even for a dollar!!She's never liked any of my boyfriends and always has something negative to say about them. She's even said that they're ugly.My mom has had a few miscarriages in the last few years and she says that it is all my fault that she lost them. I didn't even know she was pregnant and nor did she.I really want to move out but i feel as though i'm being held back. She works too but i'm the one who pays the rent so if i was to leave then they would lose the roof over their heads.I've got no self confidence and i let everyone treat me like a doormat. I feel like i don't have a voice. I'm not allowed to answer back or even go in a bad mood at home.Any suggestions?? Feel like i'm gonna go insane!!!
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female
reader, eugenia nyameke  +, writes (29 June 2010):
Hi your mom sounds like a horrible and vile woman. In my opinion you should have nothing to do with her because people like her are only happy when you are in the same situation as them.
Right now you need to build your self esteem and going counselling and going to help centre will help you greatly.
Be strong, and the best revenage is to be successful trust me it works.
Good luck!!!
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (25 April 2010):
 Sometimes, you need to act like a lion and 'ROAR!' You cannot live like a timid mouse always and let everyone walk all over you .People will not respect you .
If you are in the right , you should roar and be not afraid. The one who pays will have the louder voice. She will fall in line if she does not want to end up homeless .
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2010): You need to get out before this does any more damage to you.
Give notice so you don't just pull you money for the rent, but can't go on living like this there will be nothing left of you, and you will struggling to find out who you are, scared to be who you are trust me I know,
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A
male
reader, flanker123 +, writes (25 April 2010):
Heyy my name is Andrew,
Firstly you need to get the self confidence to stand up for yourself. Find out what your mums favourite thing to do is, whether it is sewing or playing basketball. When you found it out ask her if she would like to do it with you. If she says yes then you know you can be alone with her and she'll be comfortable. Start a conversation based on How she is? and then slowly change the subject to what you want to achieve in life. Make something up like travel the world. Mention that you feel like your ready to get your own home so you can settle down yourself and see what she says. Maybe if you do all this in the evening she will go to bed thinking about changing so that she can put her own money into the rent, and how your eing affected.
Try avoiding the more tender subjects like the misscarriages.
I hope this helps
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A
female
reader, Jesc +, writes (25 April 2010):
 Well I would agree with marieclaire, I believe you should save up as much as you can and get the heck away from her. She is to cruel to live with. It's wrong when your mother is saying this about you.
Your a grown women, You choose who you want to date how you want to spend your money. How else will you learn?
I would deff try to get out of there fast before she hurts you more.
q1605 Has a great link I just checked it out. If you can't move out, try to bring this up to her. I'd be scared too, but still try.
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A
female
reader, cute angel  +, writes (24 April 2010):
 ignore the gnawing suspicion that your mother is trying to live her life through you. Even if she is, the urge to control is her baggage to carry, not yours.
If your mother persists in knocking down your boundaries, consider seeking family therapy. The relationship may improve in more ways than one.
you cannoy change your mother or the way she behaves but u can definitely learn how to deal with it..
learn this phrase and repeat it "I love you, but I don't want you to treat me like this..speak up..
the more meek you get the harder will it be for you..if u dont stand up for urself then noone will..it is a tough world out there hun..each for himself..
best of luck xx
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