A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:HELP!I had sex with my boyfriend about 2 weeks to a month ago and i have recently started feeling weird, so i took a pregnancy test prayed it wouldnt be positive and it was-i'm pregnant, you can probably tell from my age that i'm under aged, but i'm 14 just in case you can't.I haven't told my parents, but how am i ment to? It will break their hearts.I haven't told my boyfriend either because i know how he'll take it-badly VERY badly, god knows what he'll do the least i need to worry about is him dumping me, that's not what i'm worrying about, it's just how he'll take it and what he'll do I just don't want to ruin his life.What am i meant to do? How am i ment to tell my parents and my boyfriend? I'm not ready to be a mum and to have a baby in my life. But I DON'T want to kill a baby's life either by having an abortion.Please I'm desperate, what do i do?xxx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, BigSis +, writes (15 November 2008):
 NEWS FLASH: Baby Rose was born on the 20th July 2008.Please - advice givers - read all the replies before posting your messages..I beg you! This girl's baby will be at school in a few years, and you'll STILL be advising her whether or not she should keep it.Aaarrrggghhh!!!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2008): Hii i am also 14 and in the same position. I think being pregnant is a gift god has given too us even at our age. Telling your parents is going to be a heartbreaking moment but in they end they would eventually have to accept the fact of you being pregnant after all you are their child , and you'll be needing all the support if you decide to keep the baby. Do what your heart tells you in the decision of keeping it , it'll change your life and no maybe you just wont be able to do what your friends are doing but a baby needs caring , loving , support and you 24/7. Its a life time commitment. Having a baby does not ruin your life and it is possible to enjoy life with a bay alongside.
Everything's possible
Don't give up your dreams for your future
Follow your heart
Do whats best
And may god be with you
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionno, sorry.....she was born on the 20th July....not quite your birthday :)
I have always adored the name Rose and have always wanted a baby girl called Rose even when I was small I dreamt of it!
Though I didn't think there was any way on earth I'd be having my beautiful baby at 14 years of age!
But hey.....it happened and it all turned out the best it possibly could :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008): rose is a pretty name! Was rose born on the 3rd of august cause thats my birthday:)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionno i was 4-5 months gone when i first posted this question.
yes shes doing fine.
x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2008): Was the baby premature? By my calculations that was about a 5 month pregnancy. Hope she's well anyway!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTHANKS BIG SIS! iT WAS KIND OF GETTING ANNOYING HAVING PEOPLE STILL GIVING ME ADVICE WHEN I'VE HAD MY LITTLE PRINCESS ALREADY!THANKSX
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A
female
reader, BigSis +, writes (1 November 2008):
This is for the two anon females who posted just 2 days ago.....PLEASE READ the following:
QUOTE:
"A reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2008):"
{This is verified as being by the original poster of the question}
"hi
i didnt tell ma parents they kinda guessed cus of gaining weight they were dissapointed but they helped me make my decision.
I'm goin 2 have the baby.
As 4 my boyfriend, i'm still wiv him and i sat him down quietly a few weeks ago and told him, i said i wanted to keep it was that ok and he said yes! He will be there for me all the way through and he doesnt want to kill an innocent things life either.
So alls good
i guess"
ANOTHER OF HER QUOTES:
"A reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2008):"
"This is verified as being by the original poster of the question"
Hi again.
Well I did it, i had a beautiful baby girl called rose she is 3 weeks old and i'm still with my bf! (the dad)
thanks for all your help
x"
============================================
I really wish people would read the whole thread and check the dates before making comments.
============================================
BigSis
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2008): hi i think you should ask the boy you had it with and ask if he wants it, if he says no then walk away and find someone else to help you with the baby thats what i did and now i am happy with my family i have 5 children and i am 28 next mounth so go ahead and keep that baby with someone who loves you and the baba.
yours sincerly
rebecca arnet xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2008): you shoud tell him if he says he wants the baby great butif he says he dosent then hhe cant love thay much KEEP THE BABY what ever you do you cant decide to kill a inesent baby
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female
reader, BigSis +, writes (26 October 2008):
Thanks for replying.
First of all, sorry to hear of your little one's cold, just keep her warm and smother her in kisses, and give her one from me too.
Secondly, I'm glad we got that misunderstanding sorted. Like Momma said, people just can't be bothered to read through the posts, they dive in with their opinions...and as you know, that causes big issues.
Please do keep us updated as to how you're getting on with your little bundle of joy. We're always here if you need anything.
BigSis
xXx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2008): Oh, I want to leave this thought with you as a gift.
Let your little girl grow up with it, knowing that "There is only one happiness in life; to love and be loved" ( a quote by George Sand)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2008): Thanks BIg Sis for clearing that misunderstanding.
To the poster: Sorry, no I did not mean to offend you. I am sorry there must have been a misunderstanding. I merely wanted to inform people who are posting like the ones on 12 OCt, 13OCt and 25 OCt, that you have your baby. That your baby girl was born on the 3rd of AUg, no need for them to still post as if the baby is not born yet and abortions etc.(Some of them seems to not read all the postings and still continue posting as if you don't have your baby yet).
Congratulations with your baby and no, I never intended to hurt you or offend you.
Hugs
MammaMia
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwoops mammamia i'm so sorry i didn't realise what you meant sorry.Bigsis i'm good thank and little rose is doing well though she has a nasty cold at the moment but she is getting better.
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A
female
reader, BigSis +, writes (26 October 2008):
Hey babes...
It's me, BigSis.....I think you got the name wrong in your last post, MammaMia was just updating the previous posters.
How you doing, anyway? Hope all is well with little Rose.
xXx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioncan i just say to mammamia i'm very offended that you are accusing me of lying on here!!!!! I wouldn't do that i'm not that sick minded. So if you are going to accuse me of not telling the truth then i suggesst you don't post on my question. And what would be the point of lying any way??? I came on here for helpand for your information i was already 4 months gone when i posted that question.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2008): Please note, this poster gave birth to a baby girl on the 3rd of august 2008. Refer to her update.
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A
female
reader, taryci22 +, writes (25 October 2008):
have you decided if you are going to have the baby or not? there are so many people out their that can't have their on child are you considering adoption?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2008): listen im 14 two and if i was in your area of beign prengnet then i would keep it but thats me i love kids but u need to be preped 4 it tell yur mum and your boyfriend and if he really loves u he will stay with u just dont kill it cause u never know u kill it u may never havee the chance to have another please take my adfice take it to heart girl if i had the cuts to have kids i would i want twins a girl and a boi have my hole life just dont kill it i be on yur side waat ever u chose u will regert it if u kill it baby are so beatiful xxxxxxxxx amberxxxxxxxx i think u will make a great mum xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, ChantelleMaytee +, writes (12 October 2008):
i no that if i was in you possition i would pray that your gonna have a healthy little baby and no matter what anybody tells you that baby will change your life for the good you will realise alot of things and i no your probably thinkin 'how would you no you dont have a child' but i do no beacause i have 2 gourgus nefus and ever scince they were born all i have ever dreamed of was having my own children no matter how old i am.. i would do anything for my nefu's beacuse to me they feel like there mine! ones for and the other is 2 next month. look just think about what your doin and just make sure that in the future you wont regret it!! Good Luck x
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A
female
reader, BigSis +, writes (3 August 2008):
Congratulations, and well done you!
I'm so glad everything turned out great for you. You were extremely brave to go through all that at your age.
Now all that's left for me to say is; I wish you, your boyfriend and your little Rose, health, wealth, love and happiness.
You take good care of her, you hear?
BigSis
xXX
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi again.
Well I did it i had a beautiful baby girl called rose she is 3 weeks old and i'm still with my bf!(the dad)
thanks for all your help
x
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A
female
reader, GONZ91305  +, writes (16 April 2008):
 Hey well its sad to hear that ur only 14 but dont worry everything will be ok i came out preg when i was 16 and i though my life was over but no i still have a normal life and now my baby is 2 you live your life the same just with lots more responsibility.....and u have your parents and boyfriends support it will be hard at the bigging but you will make it threw trust me... well good luck and well keep me posted yeah and feel free to ask anything.....good luck girl...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2008): Hey!! i just found out that my girl friend is preg too. it was alot to take when i found out but i know that i need to be there for her we told our parents and they cryed but they wantted to help us more that they were mad
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi
i didnt tell ma parents they kinda guessed cus of gaining weight they were dissapointed but they helped me make my decision.
I'm goin 2 have the baby.
As 4 my boyfriend, i'm still wiv him and i sat him down quietly a few weeks ago and told him, i said i wanted to keep it was that ok and he said yes! He will be there for me all the way through and he doesnt want to kill an innocent things life either.
So alls good
i guess
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2008): I'm sorry but, seeing cos of your age n everything...I'd say abortion is the best option for you, your bf, and the baby.
If the kid is born now, not only will your youth be gone in an instant, but that kid isnt exactly gonna be brought up in a fine environment, i mean your barely a teen yourself!
I'm sure youd be a loving mother, but really, I think its best for all involved if you have an abortion and don't tell your bf or your parents, if keeping it bottled up gets to you, then talk to a councillor.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (22 March 2008):
 The third option is adoption. Very hard on you because you will have to carry the baby to full-term while going to school and then give it up.
But it avoids the trauma of an abortion and you can go on with your life in the knowledge you did everything you could and loving people who dearly want a child can raise you baby.
You already been to the doctor, he can do more then just check, ask him for where to turn for aid for teens with unwanted pregnancies who can advice you what your options are and help you talk with your parents.
I am concerned about how you describe your boyfriends possible reaction, perhaps it is poor grammar but if the LEAST he can do is break up with you, what is the worsed? Is he violent? I hope I am reading it wrong but if not be very careful.
Also, you ruin his life? He was the one who fucked you. It is 50/50. He is not going to be walking through school in maternity clothes, he is not going to have go through labor or an abortion, he is not going to be asked to hand this baby over after delivering it. He got it easy. Worry about yourselve.
Don't try to solve this on your own, teen pregnancies are far too common a problem but it means there are highly experienced people ready to help you.
Oh and this pregnancy is unplanned, no child is unwanted, if you choose the hardest path of adoption some couple somewhere wants this baby very much.
Strength.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2008): hix
I am 15 and a virgin, and would like to stay a virgin till i am amrried. Though I have a best friend who is thinking about having sex, though i sscared she may get pregnant. The first thing i would say to do, is have anouther few tests, to make sure, then see a doctor privately, maybe bring a few freinds. Have you told them yet? You should, you need their support, and if they are good freinds they wont judge.
I always say, and this is wat i say to my friend,if you feel old enough and responsible enough to have sex, then u must feel old enough to have a baby. Other people may have diferent views, though this is mine. Dont have an abortion. This baby is alive and has a beating heart inside of you. Tell your parents, have the baby, then give it up for adoption. There are many families who are looking for children. Or maybe ud like to keep it?
I know you think this would ruin your life, ur parents will hate u and everyone will think u are a slut. Just dnt care about wat people say. Ur parents wnt hate you, theyll love and support you all the way and be glad that you told them. If you keep the baby and dont kill it, i will have so much more respect for you than if you kill it. It would be a brave and selfless thing to keep the baby. Too many young girls try to solve this problem by taking the easy way out, don't be one of these people.
Tho if u do chhose to abort it, make sure you are 100 percent sure, as if you're not i assure u that u will live with regret for the rest of your life
just think about itxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008): It's easier said than done, but dont panic!First of all I want to say well done on being so brave to post a comment onto a site for others to read.The best thing you can do is sit your parents down and talk it through with them, If you feel like you cant do this get a friend to come and help you tell your parents..if your still scared of confronting your parents then right them a letter because your parents are there for you for support and guidance.Your parents will know exactly what to do, just make sure its okay with you first, and if your boyfriend leaves you he isnt worth it and is only after one thing. I real hope you sort it out darling!!Good Luck x x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes i have been to the doctors because i just couldn't believe it when the pregnancy test was positive and i am 100% pregnant.Also we did use a condom but it broke but it wasnt until after we'd had sex that we realised, my boyfriend said to me "ah you won't be pregnant!" but i new damn well i could easily be pregnant.I just tried to convince myself i couldnt.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008): OK, sweetie, this is a really hard one, and it sounds like you're trying to deal with this alone, and in shock. Calm dowm. Take time.
You might be able to work something out together with your boyfriend. You obviously love him. Also why will it break your parents' hearts? If they love you, they'll realise you're the one who needs help here. People "underage" do have sex. Your parents might even have known people who did, back when they were young. Pregnancy happens. It's natural. It has to be dealt with, somehow.
Many people who are your age have gone on to be brilliant mothers. Some of them have chosen not to be mothers, and also chosen not to feel bad about it. You have the choice right now. Can you bring this child into the world? Will you love it? Those are the most important questions and anyone who loves you will support you no matter what the answer is.
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A
female
reader, Krystelle +, writes (21 March 2008):
id say you should ring a helpline or something. they have ones set up for teenage mothers. talk anonymous (sp?) and they can help you. i dont know any numbers off the top of my head. but just google for a number or site.
im not going to say your stupid and an idiot. it was a mistake. but you dont have to have an abortion. you could have an open adoption. where you can still be in the babies life but wont have to be the mother figure.
i think you should tell maybe an aunt or someone older in your family you trust so they can tell you whats best and how to break the news. as for your boyfriend then if he loves you he will stand by you. if he walks away then its his loss.
sure your parents might be furious, but in the end they love you and will stand by you no matter what. its only natural theyll be mad, theyre baby having a baby. and have you gone to the docs yet to find out for sure? pregnancy tests arent 100% positive. and the doc will keep everything quiet from your family if you ask.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008): I guess you're in between a rock and a hard place. You don't want a baby but you don't want an abortion. The big problem is that as you're pregnant, there's a good chance that in a few months time you're going to be a mother whether you like it or not - unless you get an abortion or have a miscarriage.
Talk to your parents. Tell them what's going on. Sure, they'll blow a fuse, but they'll get over it. You'll either get their support or you won't. 50/50 chance on that. 50/50 on whether the father of this baby will do a runner too.
I bet you wish you'd used a condom now, right?
Oh well, perhaps some other 14 year old girl will read this and learn that with sex, comes responsibility and there won't be too many more unwanted or unplanned babies in the world.
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