A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So... there's this guy that I have a major crush on. Basically, we met two years ago thru my ex-boyfriend. We were friends all while I was dating his friend, but there was definitely some tension there, always. Anyway, when my ex broke up with me, Man 2 (as I"ll call him) professed his feelings for me - saying how he had felt that way all along, but he knows it's a sticky situaiton, etc. I, truthfully, told him that I had had feelings all along, too, but I was very conflicted because I also was in love with my ex and was heartbroken from that, etc. So, basically, we talked for a few days on the phone - we prob. would've seen each other, but we live like 1 1/2 hrs away from each other (which was prob. better at the time). Our attraction is definitely intensely physical (had we been close, I'm sure we would have hooked up right away, adn that would've been FAR too complicated). Anyway, we did have flirty and sexual convos over the phone tho...Needless to say, I started become REALLY conflicted in this situation. So, I told Man 2 that I had to distance myself from him, he felt the same way and that was that.Fast forward 4 months later - never having talked to each other in between. I, randomly, was thinking of him, so I emailed him to let him know that I hoped we could still be freinds - that I was sorry things got complicated, but I had always appreciated his friendship. He, basically, responded right away saying how he was just thinking about me and how he had wanted to call me the night before (as he was by my house), but thought it would be weird cause we hadn't talked in 4 months. He told me to call him later, so I did.He answered and immediately said how great it was to hear my voice. I was pleased by that and told him it was great to be talking to him again. He told me he had never stopped being my friend, and I told him that meant a lot to me cause I appreciate his friendship. Then, he came right out and told me that even tho we haven't talked in 4 months, his feelings for me hadn't changed. That he was still wildly attracted to me and he was no longer conflicted by the situation (seeing as I once dated his friend very seriously). I was certainly flattered and told him, honestly, that I still had feelings too. We talked ALL night that night - and quite frankly, even had a very sexual conversation. (we even fell asleep on the phone together).The next morning, first thing, he called me. He wanted to know if I was still okay with everything - I told him I definitely was. So, we talked that day...and the next.Then, he disappeared. He said he'd call me, and he didn't, but he text me a few times (nothing in particular). So, I gave it a few days and text him about something he had going on. He responded awhile later, but I just ignored it. The next day, I responded with something flirty and he immediately responded back in a flirty way, basically saying how he couldn't wait until we saw each other and that we DEFINITELY will. I didn't respond to that at all - just left it cause I didn't think it really warranted a respose.Then...he disappeared again! It's been almost 3 days now and nothing. I'm so confused. He seemed to be all about this, I mean, this has been a bit built up for months now, and he disappears!??!what gives? and what's my next move?
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broke up, crush, flirt, heartbroken, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2007): move on, he's not worth your time. a relationship has to consist of more than sweet talking over the phone. if you want just sex then go for it but otherwise go find someone else. surely americans should not have this problem. your country is bursting with fit guys.
A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (23 November 2007):
 Part of me says you both are sending mixed signals. I am not sure what the etiquitte is on responding to text messages but if he text'd you last and you have not responded perhaps he is waiting for you? I can see where you thought you didn't need to respond but with the history you've had with both of you being confused by your feelings he could be holding back a bit in case you get cold feet again.
If I were you I'd call him and say "what gives, when can we get together?" Then I think you should have a conversation about what is really going on here. IE, is there a basis for a relationship or are the two of you just hot for each other? If he doesn't respond to this then I would find a way to move on. It could be he's just uncomfortable with the idea of his friend's girl.
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