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female
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anonymous
writes: I've been with my boyfriend since sept 2004. In that time we've worked our way through several situations to keep our relationship going. I have been told by several different girls that he has cheated on me, but I always speak to him and he denies it and we just carry on as normal! I have seen him cheat on me in a club he was kissing an older women, I split up with him, but we ended up getting back together because I turned out to be pregnant. We worked our way through that together, in the end I had an abortion, then split up with him again, but I couldn't stay away from him because I was really painful not to be with him so got back together again, but kept arguing. One of our arguments ended up with my windows being smashed and me calling the police. We broke up, however even after that we ended up back together, despite the fact that there is still a court case pending, in which I will be a witness on the prosecution! I still get told he has cheated on me, still feel great when we are close together, however this situation is ripping me apart. I think I've lost all sense of reality and am now stuck in a never ending relationship. It seems that no matter what happens I will keep going back and I cannot walk away, even though everything seems to be telling me to, I still love this guy and I don't know what to do with myself. All I know is that I'm really insecure at the moment and I need to do something to sort this out. Is it just a case of sitting and waiting or am I in lala land!?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2006): Hey guys thanks for all your rplies I thought I would be the only person in this situation, it seems so unordinary!! We went out last night for a Valentines meal, the night ended with me walking out on him. I just have to stay away now, I'm not looking forward to the court case but thats another situation all together. You are all right, enough is enough. If I go back now I will just be starting off the chain reaction again all by myself. Its a pointless relationship with no respect. I hope I will have more fun being single!
A
female
reader, Am I Lost w/o him? +, writes (15 February 2006):
You may have Stockholm syndrome..Someone said I may have that as I have a similar boyfriend for 8 years....He never would admit he cheats just comes home from "Work" clean not needing a shower etc...You may just WANT him to be something he may not be...(That seems to be my case anyway..) He is not HONEST, Faithful etc etc...Please let him go about his way and find someone you KNOW will adore your every move..That is what I am hoping to find too...Men are just EVERYWHERE, try to find a good one who treats you right.I know I am doing that now..:) Good luck and get an HIV test if he is cheating you may be at risk!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2006): This man of yours is a lost cause, hun. He is slowly wearing you down and I am concerned for your emotional well-being. Why are permitting this? I have yet to meet a man who when given so many chances as this guy, who lives up to his word. What are his actions and behaviours telling you, hun? If he valued and loved you above all others, he wouldn't still be doing all this awful stuff to you Trust me. Feeling secure, cherished and valued above all others is real love. But you just keep on giving and giving..you keep trying and trying. Stop doing that. Reclaim your self-respect. There is no changing someone that will cheat on you long term. If someone cheats on you, they don't love you because NO decent man wants to hurt the woman they truly love. What is happening, is you love an unfaithful, dishonest man that you can't trust or depend on. One who only values you enough to be with you some of the time and chooses others to be with, the rest of the time. Is this really the kind of love you always dreamed of? Now you have serious choices to make. You might start by asking yourself: Do I want the insecurity of being with a guy I know can't be honest and faithful? Do I want to be picked up and put down again constantly, at his whim? Don't I deserve good, healthy, stable love? Of course , you deserve a good love. You know it too.
Personally, I hope you value yourself enough to act in your own best interests and kick this selfish cad to the curb. Find your self-respect and gain your confidence back and just do it, hun. good luck.
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A
female
reader, llqueen +, writes (14 February 2006):
I went through the same type thing. Only I ended up marrying the jerk. (We are now divorced.) Just tell yourself that you deserve better. Yeah, it will hurt for a while without him. But, eventually you will meet someone new - take it from me. I thought there would never be anything else. I met someone wonderful right when we split up, and he helped me to see that I was totally just used to the situation I was in. I am now not with anyone, but I am so much HAPPIER not being with my ex-husband. Good luck.
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