A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im always ending up paying for my fiancee,we r together for 8 months and i know he loves me and i love him too,but this is just making me sad.he is financially irresponsible and he earns almost 3 times more than me but cant even make it to his payday..he is good with manipulating and i always fall for that,he ocasionally buys me something and then makes me feel like i owe him for that...i love him and he is the sweetest and most loving person in the world..but since ive dated him i find myself broke at the end of the month..he says he will change and that he needs time but im tired..please tell me what to do!!!
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female
reader, finalmailings  +, writes (7 May 2013):
 Set the boundary, bottom line. Tell him it's bothering you, and this is your new boundary.
Also, if he is giving you a gift, and making you feel like you owe him...this is not a gift.
I have to agree with So_Very_Confused, why are you engaged at 8 months especially with you being so young?
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 May 2013):
 why at 18-21 are you engaged after a mere 8 months?
If he is financially irresponsible now what makes you think that after marriage things will change?
If he is manipulative that' will not change.
you love him and he's sweet and loving but he makes you feel like you owe him if he buys you something, and he can't manage money (this is a key critical skill for adults... and if he can't manage it, then as a married couple he must defer to you 100% in the running of the fiscal home, I am a terrible money manager and I defer 100% to my husband in terms of spending OUR money)
If he says he will change, then force him.
stop paying his way
write a budget for yourself and stick to it.
learn to tell him NO
see how it goes. I'm betting this engagement will be ending once he sees that he needs to grow up.
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