A
male
age
36-40,
*ichael009
writes:My 60 year old married DAD is flirting with girls half his age. Recently i accidentally happened to see an SMS in his mobile where he was expressing his love(attraction) to some 20 odd yr old woman.I was shocked, as I never expected this off my dad and he never gave me an impression of this. On searching his mobile a little more I saw he was professing his love for several women. And these women were positively responding to him. Could they be using him for financial gains? All of them work at the same place.I am furious and disgusted and dont know how to face him or discuss this with him.Any suggestions are welcome. I am worried for my mother now.
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female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (7 May 2013):
 I think it would be better to have a man to man talk with him first, you don't want to go speaking to these women yet, as you say his retiring you wouldn't want his last days at work to be deflating. I am sure that it wont be to long before your dad realises your right and puts an end to it. But you really should talk to him about it asap. Maybe ask if he wants to go out for a drink, that way your in mutual territory and will have a much more relaxed conversation rather than at home, where it could get confrontational.
Let me know how you get on.
Mandy x
A
male
reader, michael009 +, writes (7 May 2013):
michael009 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAppreciate your suggestion. It's good to discuss this with somebody..
After I reveal this to my dad I'm afraid how'd he react. This is mighty embarrassing, and I'm concerned he'd take it to his heart and suffer for the rest of his life
He'd retire in a couple of months. Do I just wait for him to quit work. Hopefully separation from work would kill all this discreetly
I was also thinking of facing the women anonymously and try and stop them.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2013): He is a been a silly ole fart and i would just let this all blow over in the wind, where it comes from.
Mum would probably agree, not worth worrying about.
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (6 May 2013):
HI
I must say this is not unusual. He is probablly going through a mid life crisis ( this don't mean I condoe what his doing) as his a married man. However he is probally enjoying the attention, feels desireable and attractive regardless of the girls motives. I think it's that time you confess to your dad what you know, and tell him how this is effecting you and the way you now think of him. My guess is that it will be just what he needs to hear to put him back on track. Don't be hard on him, remember his no spring chicken anymore and probally feels insecure and scared of ageing. At the same time let him know you WONT let this continue, if he carries on with this behaviour you will have no other choice but to speak with your mother. But don't leave it any longer than two weeks max, also dont let on that you read his phone or he will hide it or put a password on it so you will never know. and if worse comes to worse tell him that you know which women his been flirting with and will let THEM know what you found out ( im sure they wont want the attention from collegues at work, everyone knowing they have been flirtting and texting to an older man)...
Mandy
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