A
male
age
30-35,
*ammykhan
writes:So here goes....I have fallen in love with my best friend, it was not supposed to happen I am finishing university he is starting, when we first met I didn’t find him attractive but the more we spoke the more i fell for him, my friends all say every time he looks at me you can tell he is in love with me, so i took him out clubbing with my other gay friends, he ended up kissing my girl m8t and it broke me, so i ran to the toilet (drama) he noticed and followed me, i ended up hugging him for like an hour and he told me how he felt about me,,so we end up been in a relationship but i am so paranoid coz he is really really good looking and every 1 thinks he looks like zaine malik from 1 direction, he has like 5000 followers on instagram and twitter all girls asking him to marry them and giving him all this attention and i am always checking up on him, coz i am the 1st guy he has ever had feelings for, i feel like his stalker we have kissed 2wice and nothing else, he texts me some times but we talk on the fone every night,,I feel so insecure and madly inlove WHAT IT WRONG WITH ME!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2013): First of all, get a grip. You're not a teen or a little schoolboy. You are a grown-up. Ease up on this "totally in love" stuff. You're going to get your feelings seriously hurt.You are putting this guy up on a pedestal. You compare him to TV stars; and place yourself in the position of a fan, or his worshiper. Don't do that! It looks as ridiculous as it sounds. There are mean-spirited people just chomping at the bit; dying at the chance to steal your prize. You're showing off, and that's exactly what you're going to get. You're setting yourself up for heart-break; when you find out that he isn't perfect. You're smothering him with praise and admiration that will over-whelm him at some point. That isn't love. Don't use the "L" word until you know what you're doing. You're in love with the concept of being in love. That's childish behavior. First-timer relationships are very fragile. They are trial relationships just to get your feet wet. An introduction into being a openly gay individual.They are over as quickly as they start. Especially, when one of the couple is behaving as you are.Gay people just coming out, tend to fall for the first person that they're allowed to openly express their gay feelings with. Then something happens that opens up their eyes to reality. They are devastated, because they created a fairytale (pardon the pun) relationship. All built on make-believe love. That is exactly what you have here.Settle down and be more mature. DO NOT STALK ANYONE! Behave like a rational and sensible person. If he finds out you don't trust him and checking up on him! He will kick you to the curb so fast, you will not know what hit you! Ignore this advice, and he will probably be gone before you read the end of my post.As for the paranoia, that is emotionally unbalanced. Then to put the icing on the cake, you're a drama queen. He will get tired of running to you, to ease your hysterical outbursts. They will become embarrassing, and he knows you're just performing to manipulate him.Please...cut it out. You're an adult. Behave like one. If you are his first, then keep that in mind when you heap all that praise and admiration on him. You've only kissed? Then what makes you so deeply in love? His looks? Is he a prize or your boyfriend? Don't be too superficial. Perhaps you're just coming out yourself. You're going to learn a lot; in a very short time. You're rushing into this relationship at the speed of light.You know little about him, and claimed him as your boyfriend based on a kiss?!! You're out of your mind. That's reason enough for him to run the other way!If you don't grow up, this isn't going to work out. It will be because of you, and your immature manner of handling it.If this is the first time for him, he may outgrow you. So be prepared for that. If you behave, you can slow down that possibility. First-time gay-love has an expiration-date. Poof! It may be over. Take time to get to know him as a person. Accept his faults and flaws. See yourself as an equal. Be sweet, patient, and kind. That's how you make it last.You're supposed to meet many different people, until you meet that special one. You learn and you're prepared by each person you meet along the way. You get your heart-broken to learn to survive it. You will both encounter so many different people, you'll be confused if what you have is real. That's young love in general.If you can over-come many obstacles, still love each other, and remain together. If you can build mutual trust and respect for each other. That is real "love."I'm gay too. I know what I'm talking about. I've been there and done that.
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