A
female
age
30-35,
*issLestrange
writes:HelloBasic stuff yeah? I'm in love, its not a crush, I don't want to bang her. She's very important to me. No abuse please. Some open minded and nice answersSince I was.. 11 I've been deeply in love with a female teacher at my school. I'm 15 now, my feelings haven't changed at all and I've tried so hard to distance myself from her. The only reason I have for my feelings is when I was younger, something I really lacked was a female figure. I was a stupid person - I selfharmed a lot, generally I had quite a difficult past and she was there for me, always there for me. I think I may have abused her help. I always came to her for advice and perhaps I made her feel a bit trapped. Her presence was just addictive to me and I missed her all the time. I've never really had someone like that. I think I just became confused. Needless to say we were together a lot - Rumours were spread that we were sleeping together. She misunderstood completely and thought I had spread the rumours - which I didnt because I would never hurt her. She alerted her higher authorities and told some quite hurtful lies about me. It really tore me apart, because of the connection we had for about 3 and a half years. I'm in my 2nd last year of school and I really want to clear things up with her. On the last day before summer I wrote her a letter but I was just too scared to give her it. I would literally do anything for this woman - mostly because of how close we were. We'd literally sit all the time and just talk and listen to music. One occasion she told me she loved me, but told me never to bring it up again. Every time I pass her or someone speaks about her, I just feel so awkward. It has been like this for over a year now. I just love and miss her so much. I want her to know how I feel but I'm beginning to think maybe I should try harder to steer clear of her.I'm smart enough to know she can never legally love me. Basically because she is infact 28-years my elder and has a daughter, I'd never try and get anything from her - its a more emotional connection. I feel lost without her and that I need her a whole lot. I don't know what to do - I feel so hurt and my heart literally aches for her. Her presence makes me shiver and feel so bad about myself. I want to know what she's thinking but more than anything I want her to be happy, to stay away from her - but I just can't.Help? :|
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female
reader, MissLestrange +, writes (12 July 2009):
MissLestrange is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone, there's a lot more I haven't put in. If you think knowing more would be helpful. Just say and I'll send you a private message.I'm trying not to think about her - but I'm dreaming of her. I wake up feeling terrible. But I think my mind is trying to somehow think about her without me controlling it to have its 'daily fix' of her lol :|
A
female
reader, lulu24  +, writes (12 July 2009):
Dear Heartbroken,
I am sorry that you are going through such a hard time with this right now. I do feel for you. I am a 40-year-old woman who worked in a school setting for several years (as a counselor). I agree with "Heartbroken in Love" who advised that you not contact her at this time. It sounds like you really confided in her and shared parts of yourself with her. The connection you formed was significant - particularly as you mention you lacked a female bond in your younger years. It's not surprising that you fell for a nurturing, caring, older woman. It sounds like you are able to recognize some of the reasons for that. My advice to you would be - start focusing on friendships within your own age group (boys and girls). Allow yourself to enjoy being a kid - and doing things with your friends. The more you focus your energy on this teacher, the less energy you'll have to focus on healthy, balanced friendships and relationships. If you continue to notice that you are craving the attention and affection of this woman (or older women in general), it may be helpful to talk to a professional about it. Let us know how you're doing. Love, lulu
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A
male
reader, Heartbroken in love +, writes (12 July 2009):
I know how you feel my friend. Well I can't say I ever had a thing for a woman that much older than me but I can say that you do seem very mature about the situation so I will give you a mature answer. I do believe it would be wise to steer clear of her and telling her anything with regard to the situation untill you are out of school. The reason is because while you are in the school system she is in a position of authority over you even if she isn't your teacher right now. Once you are 18 and out of the system I would give you the go ahead to contact her in an effort to clear the air. If she doesn't want to talk anything of it than that will have to be up to her. Right now talking to you may put her job and reputation at risk and if you love her I am sure you would not want to do that. I do feel for you. I know what being in love is all about and my overall feeling is love does not know age. I hope this helps. Good luck
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