A
male
age
30-35,
*ikandme
writes:Im 16, and all i have is problems when it comes to dating. girls always make guys out to be the evil ones. but my world is completely up side down. i have been in a few relationships. every girl has dumped me. all but 1 have cheated on me...at least i don't think she did. i just don't understand. i never lie to them. i Always give them things. the last thing im looking for is sex. and i have always been raised with pure respect especially for girls. i would risk my life for almost any girl worth saving. and about the only ones that aren't are criminals. so just picture the protection the president gets. that's the protection any girl i know gets. especially my girl friends. so what's the deal? and they all seem so nice at first then they take what you give them and head for the hills. like i bought one of my girl friends a $100 necklace for her birthday. made with all the real stuff and like 2 days later she dumped me. same thing happened with older relationship. sept she stuck around for a week or so. so my question is: Whats the problem? And my other problem is, now that this has happened so many times. i am scared of a relationship, i want to be in one sooooo bad cus there is a girl i really like.and we have ALOT in common. but i just don't have he guts to ask any more. I've been hurt to much.....So what do i do? any help appreciated deeplyP.S, my age thing is incorrect, i am 16
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male
reader, nikandme +, writes (9 February 2009):
nikandme is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hey thanks everyone. i am also releaved that im not the only one out there with the problem. the guy who wrote the 4th message up from the bottom has the EXACT same same Personaliy
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009): Well first things first. Don't give a girl things like jewelry unless she has been around for a while. I mean a year or more. If you start out giving them things then they might just want to use you for that. Secondly at 16 you have a lot to learn. What kind of girls do date? Their looks, weight, and the way they dress? Maybe you should look for a girl that isn't like the ones you usually go after.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009): I'm afraid, I think it's just too, too much.
It's smothering them I'm afraid. Even the intentions of an angel can attract the bluntness of devils. That isn't me mocking you there, I'm just trying to find a way which is easiest for you to click and see how to improve your ways.
The worst thing here, I think, is becoming so attatched that there is no mystery. On her end, there is no "when will he call?" or, "will I pass him in the street today?" -you're leaving no secrecy or mystery to be desired as you're holding everything to them on a plate. And you are hurt because one- they either feel/have never felt anything as intense before and two- they are only wanting to fool around, short time.
Think about who you want to be portrayed as and why you're attatchments are so intense. Think as though you were a girl, and a guy would be like this to you.
You're 16 (apparently), I'm sure you'll have all of this to learn and I'm glad I've gave you tips to prepare you as well as me!
I hope I helped!
X
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009): Hey, so i have always fallen for the guys that are completely opposite of you. Idk why, but have you ever thought that maybe you are trying too hard?? I mean, yes every girl likes to get gifts and be appreciated but we also dont wanna be put up on pedestals like we are an award or something. i am currently trying to deal with liking someone and now, not being able to have him cause he lives so far away, but anyways.. you are probably a very sweet guy from the looks of it.. so keep trying and never give up. there is gonna be just the perfect girl that you'll take her breath away.. but think, if you really like this girl and you have a lot in common, then go for it. you will always wonder, what if?? if you dont. be strong, and if it doesnt work out. . . screw herhope my advice helps and good luck.-16yrs. old
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A
female
reader, iSmil3y +, writes (2 January 2009):
I agree with the rest, You are WAY to nice. You need to chill and have some fun, also, stop with the expensive gifts. Lol I mean, gifts are nice but girls usually don't care how much a guy spends on them. And I see, you're still young..like me soo..Yeah I've broken up with guys for being over protective and way too nice. Most girls between the ages of 13 and 16, that I know, like guys who are nice, but outgoing too. Try to have fun and stop being soo protective then things should start working out better for you.
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A
female
reader, caramatthews +, writes (2 January 2009):
Grand gestures (especially expenditures) are often overwhelming. Take things more slowly. You don't need to be a jerk or act distant...just show your feelings more gradually over a longer period of time. You'll be able to be more sure of yourself and her reaction.
Incidentally, you sound like a gentleman, and there are precious few left today. Don't change that just because you've been unfortunate enough to encounter silly girls. A lady will appreciate it someday.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2009): the comment you made on sex..do you mean you want to wait??
if u are a nice bloke, there are many girls out there that will like you, tho they wont make themselves seem as available as the horrible girls. Are you religous? If you are go on a religous weekend away, you could find really lovely girls there. If not, just wait, the rite girl will come along.
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A
female
reader, aunty_rach  +, writes (1 January 2009):
the problem is hun you are obviously being too protective and too clingy.
girls don't want a bodyguard, they want a bf to hang out with and have fun with. not someone who will follow them around and protect them to the end of the earth. especially not at that age.
sometimes a girl needs some space to beable to do what she wants. we dont need men to protect our every move, we want someone who will make us laugh and someone who knows how to have a good time. so chill with the bodyguard thing and maybe spend sometime getting to know yourself and then think about a relationship when you are older and more mature to handle women. like i siad we dont need bodyguards, we are not the president! we are girls/women who have independance and can look after ourselves.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2009): well i guess you must have got an answer by now..you know what you sound a lot like me..i had the same problem..never cheat the girl..be by her side when she needs you..forgive her if she hurts you by mistake..and in the and i end up losing the girl to total jerk..well whats the moral of story? girls say they like honest, sincere and guys who are always there for them.. but actually you have to be smart to win over her..because everyone wants someone who is better than them right? by treating her like a queen you make her feel special..the girl gets the upper hand in relation and thinks she is better..we always go for the things that attract us..we dont value what we have..so she basically takes you for granted..i know when you are in love you want to make her feel like the best but actually to keep a relationship you have to make them feel equal not better or worse than you..equal is the word..the small things matter a lot..
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A
male
reader, Everoth +, writes (1 January 2009):
 you sound overprotective, she isn't the president and doesn't need THAT much protection, i can understand your need to protect but still bro, just chill and let her live her own life as well
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A
female
reader, Dezig  +, writes (1 January 2009):
I think the problem is YOU. You are too nice and too needy.
Do not be so clingy and giving. Be yourself. Look after yourself better. Respect yourself and do not be too easy.
The really considerate respective girl will see that in you, as she is the same. The ones that you are talking about are users. They are not friends, only users.
Start to respect yourself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2009): YOU'RE WAY TOO NICE! STOP!
Don't buy them things so early on. Wait it out until you know for sure you can trust them to actually stay with you.
Sometimes you need to be a jerk, like don't always be a pushover, you know?
I'm sorry that you have been hurt so often and I hope that doesn't happen again.
Send me a message if you need any help!
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