A
female
age
41-50,
*ostsobad
writes:I am married and have been married for almost 3 years now but my husband kept wanting me to sleep with girls so he can watch I was ok with that then he started wanting to do the full threesome and I was sceptical about it but felt I had to to keep him happy so I did and it hurt me so nad and I addressed this to him and he is still wanting to do it all except have sex with the girl and I told him I wasnt doing it anymore and he got so so mad why would he get.made over me saying no
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2012): i cant believe this man wants this of you YOUR HUSBAND, im sorry but this man can not truely love you if he wants to share you hes your husband, he should not want anyone else, thats one thing me and my partner got straight as soon as we met that we would NEVER share each other with anyone else, im sorry but i would be showing him the door, if he wants his fantasy with other women leave him too it, im sure you deserve much better than this, been married 3 years, you should be still in the honeymoon period as a couple and a couple only, whats wrong with this man, dont you be swayed to his thinking, you deserve a man to love you and only you, remember that..
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2012): Sure, you have the right to say no after 100 times.
He has the right to be disappointed and hurt, too.
Stand your ground. Be firm. And when he decides he doesn't like talking to you, or when he decides he doesn't want to kiss or be affectionate to you, or decides he doesn't want to buy you gifts anymore... you'll have the same right to be hurt, disappointed, angry, and unloved, too.
You made your fellow feel loved in ways many men only dream of; no doubt he knows how lucky he was. Then you took it away. It's not wrong of you. And you shouldn't feel bad for yourself. He has the same right to feel emotions, too.
He got angry. Give him time to get over it. Send him out to a bar to vent to his friends for a while.
Don't be surprised if he attempts to change your mind. He wants something you don't. Sex, money, time, whatever. It's part of relationships. Debate it, argue it. the more you each care, the longer it will take, the harder it will be to find resolution, but the more it's worth it... because you care.
Try to care as much about his perspective as you want him to care about yours.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (25 January 2012):
 Selfish he is and arguably manipulative. He needs to respect your emotions and understand that you tried it, didnt like it, and wont do it again. He needs to respect that. If not, he doesnt deserve you.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (25 January 2012):
 You have the right to say NO at any time in your relationship, even if you said Yes a 100 times before.
You have the right to say STOP at any time in your relationship, even if you said Yes a 100 times before
You know you have a right to say "NO!" emphatically every time you do not want to do any one these things with your husband.
And anything whatsoever that your partner suggests, where that bothers you - then you just go on saying no. what your partner is doing is completely and utterly unacceptable.
What he is demanding is demeaning when you have already expressed your reluctance. If he then continues to badger you to accept his will over your wishes then that sounds like a horrible situation.
Do he not understand the meaning of "NO!"?
You never ever have to submit to anything that makes you feel uncomfortable when it comes to sex.
He is forcing you to no longer be a monogamous couple. Surely you did not choose to become a couple to then be forced into becoming swinger?
Is your partner already bored after just three years? Sadly his attitude does not auger well for the future of your relationship. He may not always agree with all your decisions and nor will you always agree with all his decisions. But he does need to RESPECT your decisions and RESPECT you are his partner, particularly in respect to making love and to having sex.
If he cannot RESPECT those basic things in your relationship, then you should perhaps consider couples counselling? Because this situation is completely unacceptable. You are his partner in life. He may be titillated by these three-somes. But it sounds like you are seriously uncomfortable with the situation.
Continue to say “NO!” when you are uncomfortable and if he keeps on insisting then call the Police. Because non-consensual sex is not loving. It is a crime.
Also please consider getting some counselling to help you to become more assertive and to help you to say what you mean and mean what you say. You have rights in this relationship but your partner seem to think he can call all the shots, and even force you to do something you do not want to do.
Your partner is wrong. He has no right to treat you this way after you have already expressed your reluctance.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 January 2012):
 He got mad because you have ( pardon me, but I have to say it : foolishly ) already said yes in the past so he thought that it was a done deal and assumed that from now on it would have been a given of your sex life. Now you have changed your mind and he is frustrated, like a kid who gets told he could have ice cream for breakfast once, exceptionally .. but not every time he wants.
Your husband is being selfish , insensitive and disrespectful, but you don't help by being wishy washy and doing things you dislike just to make him happy. Make yourself happy. It's YOUR body , don't ever use it for things that you are not 100% happy with. Hold your ground and don't feel guilty .
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