A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My husband seems to like painful anal sex. I do it and he knows it hurts me. He likes to watch porn about it too. Any ideas?
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female
reader, navywife1 +, writes (15 September 2009):
my husband knows i suffer from a neuro disorder and he likes anal sex if i don't want to and it hurts me he's willing to respectfully stop. i don't know what it is about men and porn why? but i do know i started the anal sex thing trying to keep my marriage alive and sparkling now that was 7 years ago and he's young like 6 years younger than i but i wish he would stop watching this stuff its nasty and perverted i used to dance in a strip club and if i wanted to continue to work there i would the money was right but you get no respect you're looked at as a whore but if he continues to watch it i will start back working there because i want to be looked at secretly too!
A
male
reader, FierceKitty  +, writes (31 March 2009):
Learn to like it. This is not impossible. You won't keep him for long otherwise.
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A
female
reader, aunty_rach  +, writes (15 October 2008):
Don't ever do anything you don't want to do. Plus you say he likes it when it hurts you! That's awful, he should have more respect for you. You need to tell him you do not like it and do not want to do it any more unless it is pleasurable for you. You could still let him penetrate you in the doggy style as then he still has some of his fantasy, but it will be nicer for you. Don't do anything you don't want to.
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A
female
reader, JUSTBROWSING +, writes (14 October 2008):
 i agree don't do anything you don't want to do...but if you want to satisfy your man's wants hit me up pvt mail and i'll tell you how we worked it out my husband likes to do anal too and let me tell you i love it now. its different can be painful if not done right, stay calm and don't leave your man over that and don't scold him...if he don't get it at home he will get it else where...you heard me
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A
male
reader, 1trainer1 +, writes (14 October 2008):
tell him you find anal sex disgusting, start to tell him a few disgusting things about it and im sure he wont want to do it again.....
if that doesnt work tell him you wanna try anal sex on him, that should end it
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2008): Tell him to watch anal porn as much as he likes, but that there will be no more anal sex with you. Couples should not do things that cause pain to one or both partners unless they are both into some kinky pain related stuff. That is not normally the case, so both partners should understand that something that causes unwanted pain to one of the partners is off limits. Do not put up with this behavior. Insist that it won't happen any more and if he keeps insisting on causing you pain that there will be undesirable conquences to your marriage. Either that, or get the biggest dildo that you can find and a dildo harness and tell him that you want to stick it up his butt and bang away. And don't use any lube.
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A
female
reader, NeedToGetOverBoys! +, writes (4 October 2008):
I think you should tell him your uncomfortable doing it, and considering youve married this man he should understand.All men like to watch porn, you never know you may enjoy watching it with him, a little bit of lube and you could possibly enjoy it.
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A
female
reader, Fluro Girl  +, writes (3 October 2008):
 just tell him that it hurts and maybe he wil understand.
if he says somthing like 'who cares'then maybe he just wants you for the sex. Don't forget i'm only saying maybe.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2008): Um say no, bit obvious?
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (30 September 2008):
 You are wrong. He doesn't like painful anal sex.
He likes giving you pain.
If he liked painful anal sex, you would be using a dildo on him.
You are the one getting painful anal sex and clearly don't like it.
So again, he likes giving you pain. What more needs to be said?
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (30 September 2008):
 Tell him, "No more of that. It hurts me." Any good and real man and husband would understand that. Period.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2008): Yes, one good idea. Kick his sorry butt out of the bedroom if he comes at you again, in this way! Geez, girl, if anal sex hurts you, then why are you allowing this? Most women would feel violated, if their husbands insisted on doing something physically painful to her, that she doesn't enjoy or want to do. It also sounds as if you are weakened by this man and have allowed yourself get very underpowered within this relationship with your husband. You need to get strong and gain a sense of self-respect here. Start ny realizing you have a voice...please use it! Tell him no more. When a spouse is doing something to the other that causes great hurt and he doesn't seem to care. what is that telling you about him? I think it's time to figuratively, give him a kick in the butt, and tell him to wake up, clean up his act and work at being a more caring, decent husband or you will be visiting a lawyer! Get tough with this man!
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A
female
reader, Sugarbuns +, writes (30 September 2008):
 If you don't enjoy it, don't do it. It's your body and your right to say no. He'll get over it.
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