A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year and still have not met his family. Everytime I bring it up he has one excuse or another. He also shuts his phone off everytime we are together and will not talk to people over the phone in front of me. I have even heard him texing in the bathroom. Occasionally he will go to work on the weekends and not pick up his phone for hours, he will only text me. He has also cancelled many holiday plans on me for "family emergencies." Whenever I bring any of these issues up he gets very defensive and tells me that they are all just weird coincidences and I'm just being paranoid. What do I do??
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female
reader, Jencat  +, writes (30 September 2008):
Your situation sounds a bit similar to the one I was in but which was resolved this year. It has taken my boyfriend 3 years for me to meet his mother and I thought he too had a hidden agenda. It turned out that he was embarrassed about taking anyone to meet them, which was his problem. He had never taken a woman home to meet his mother either, as his family were a bit old fashioned and he had it in his head that they would think that this was 'the one'. However, I gave him an ultimatum as I felt like his bit on the side and insisted that he takes me to meet them or it was over. He did, I liked them all, they seemed to like me, and now we visit frequently.
With regards to the phone. This is a different matter as if he cant speak freely in front of you or texts secretly, definitely has something to hide. I had a boyfriend who did this to me and when he wouldnt show me who he was texting or taking calls from. one evening I saw his phone lying around and checked his texts and my suspicions were true and I found a very explicit text there. I gave him taste of his own medicine. I sent it to my phone and when I came downstairs he said I had a text and who was it from. I read it and pretended it was just a joke from a friend and that I would send it to his phone later. Next day when he was at work I sent him the text from my phone, with 'your dumped' on the bottom.
Don't suffer in silence as it is too painful. I know. Have it out in the open. Just remember that you are worth more than being treated like this.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, blackberry008 +, writes (30 September 2008):
 Hey hey hey girl. I am very sorry to tell you this but I think you are not the only woman in his life.
This happened to me before. My boyfriend does not open his cellphone when we are together for me not to caught him.
And he thinks you are paranoid? You are not, you are just being curious and that is normal. If I were you, try him out. He might be lying somewhere, believe me.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (30 September 2008):
 Are you sure this guy isn't married?? You have an awful lot of reasons to doubt his sincerity in this relationship. I would proceed with caution, my dear!!
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (30 September 2008):
 Tell him that if he doesn't want you to meet his family to just say so, instead of getting defensive, calling you paranoid, and playing these stupid games.
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