A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:After I got divorced I started to date. Seems that I am horrible at choosing a good,honest guy to date. So far the few Ive dated want only a casual thing and they are way selfish in bed and two minutes and they are done and thats it no explanation..I have stopped falling for the bar guy. Are there any good old guys still out there? here do I go to find him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2008): Hey, I am sure there are just as many "good" guys around your age as there are good women around your age. You never know what circumstances happen in peoples lives to cause them to become single in their 40's or 50's. I'm sure there are just as many great guys who had failed marriages due to the fault of their spouse, or even maybe because they have become a widower. A divorced guy at your age doesn't necessarily mean anything about his own failings or suspicious character traits.
I think no matter what age you are, whether you are a teen, in your 20s, 30s up to your 80s or 90s it is always hard to find a good person, as good people are always hard to find!
Have your heart set on the kind of guy you want to meet and don't settle for anything lower. You will find someone else, I am sure of that. Just keep looking, but the main thing is to not make it too much of an issue, in the meanwhile enjoy your life, take up hobbies and interests and renew friendships and I'm sure he will enter your life when you least expect it; that's how these things usually work out isn't it?
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (30 September 2008):
 Well, no.
Not a lot of them anyway, if he is a catch then somebody will have caught him by now. At your age, the only good old guys are widowers. A pure bachelor at that age probably never wants to get married for his own reasons and a divorced guy, well somebody threw him back already, ask yourself why.
Then there is the competition, not just from the women your own age, but from younger women willing to date an older men in exchange for his financial stability. Doesn't help that men die younger as well, fewer left each year.
The bar type is probably enjoying the rich hunting grounds and unlikely to want to settle for just one when he can date several women at once and get away with it.
So, you got to look at other places. The best way is simply to have an active social life yourself and just meet people. Not just men but women who might introduce you to their male friends or family members.
Invest time in your hobbies and take them outdoors. If it doesn't land you mister right at least you will enjoy yourself and make new friends.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (30 September 2008):
 Check out the internet, church, etc.
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