A
female
age
36-40,
*ena1
writes:Hi guys,I have never had problem with my breast,I have always liked small breast,and i have even been asking god I hope they never grow and they always stay small.before I get married I asked my husband if he likes small breast or big one.his answer was it doesn t matter for him,well I thanked god because I like small breast.Yesterday,I was getting ready to have shower ,and he told me ohh my god your breast got small instead of getting bigger,I told him no, they did not they have always been small,and even if they got smaller I don't really care I like them the way they are ,for me they are better than big boobs.and his answer was in this case the big breast is better.i told him I thought you liked small breast,and he told me yes but not that small.(by the way I am size be)like it is not enough we do not have enough sex,now he start criticizing my body too,he got fat after marriage and he has many things that I don't like but I have never hurt him and I don't really care because I love him the way he is.Now we did not even finish a year of marriage and he started complaining about my body,what he is gonna do after i have babies and after i grow up,now I am only 22years ,and he is 35years old.and always he made me uncomfortable about my breast.I have never thought I will have this problem in my life,because I always was happy with my breast.what do you think about this?I would like to hear your opinions?
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female
reader, lena1 +, writes (7 October 2009):
lena1 is verified as being by the original poster of the question He knows that I have high self esteem,I think that is why he tries to tease me.Well,He doesn't understand that I don't really care but that just make me think of him different which I have never wanted it to happen.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2009): You're young, tolerant of his imperfections, and gave him the gift of your virginity? He has a lot to appreciate. Any man would be lucky to find someone like that. He should be grateful for you instead of being critical. You can let him know it hurts your feelings. How would he feel if you tried to make him feel inadequate because of, say, his height, receding hairline, or something else out of his control? Jokes usually have some basis of truth, which can make them hurtful.My ex-girlfriend used to say hurtful things to me like this. She was insecure because she was overweight/very obese, and I was fit. I think she did it to try to lessen my self esteem. Tell him that a man who thinks it's funny to put others down has a very unattractive sense of humor, and this type of joking lacks class and true humour. If he doesn't listen, then tell him this type of joking bothers you. It's not important that he understands 100%. He should stop just out of respect and consideration for you.
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A
female
reader, lena1 +, writes (15 September 2009):
lena1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionActually,when he makes jokes like this,he does not bother me because I fell unsecure,(I am proud of my self and I like how I look and who I am ) but he bothers me because we came to the point we make fun of each other especially that we are new couple.I think that in his caracter he likes to tease people,but teasing has borders people should not cross it.
I am not from kind who like to tease people because I am always afraid to hurt their feeling.
He told me that day that he can not joke with me any more,I told him you can joke but with different thing and with respect.
anyway,If I wanted to play that game,I could.
but I always like to have respect in my relationship.
Thank you very much guys ,You are realy helping me out.
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A
female
reader, taina1980 +, writes (15 September 2009):
i knew he wouldnt appreciate a dick joke. most can dish less can take it. Im not saying hes a bad person hes probably not. my brother is this way with his wife with jokes only he thinks are funny but that is just his personality hes really not a bad person deep inside.. i think your husband is just stupid and doesnt think before he speaks. stay on top of those comebacks i bet his ass will get tired of messing with you about your breasts.he does it because he knows it bothers you. . so next time laugh and ask him whens the last time he saw his penis . he will love that one .trust he will stop. he wants to be childish pretend like you are him and act like him. he will be able to see a reflection of what a jackass he is.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2009): I think your husband's "jokes" are going too far. He says that he is only teasing you, but he sure brings the subject up a lot. I thought that was really upsetting, when he said he would send you for a boob job for your birthday. That's taking the joke too far.
It's funny how, when you made a joke about him getting a bigger penis, he didn't like it and went quiet. He seems happy to tease you about your body, and make comments, but he can't handle having it back. He seems a bit insensitive.
He really needs to understand that this isn't acceptable, and that he is going too far. x
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A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (14 September 2009):
 I see what you're saying. Unfortunately he needs to grow up a bit, start taking care of his body and start worshiping your body as it is rather than what he jokes about. In other words, learn how to make love with you instead of be mean.
This is really sad that you're reduced to communicating through emails when you live together!
I think you're raising a husband right now. That's not good.
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A
female
reader, lena1 +, writes (14 September 2009):
lena1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello guys.Thank you very much for your interesting opinions.That day I could not sleep at night ,not because of me having small breast but because he changed his story,I wrote to him Email,(this sounds funny because we are in same house and most of you will think I am crazy),but I did that because I know if I talked directly to him we will have really big issue and that is because sometimes I get angry and I say every thing comes to my mouth.anyway,the day after he told me that he was just teasing me ,(which I am not sure about)because when you tease people you tell them that so),and he told me you tease me for my belly why I dont get offended.Well ,yes ,I tease him about his belly ,because he did not have one when we met.and even when I do I tell him a nice word after so he doesn't feel bad.and He wanted to make me angry,He told me what do you want for your birthday present?(because it s coming soon).I told him nothing,then he told me you know what ,I am gonna send you have boob job.lol.so I answered him back,why don't you give me bigger gift and go have penis job.and I started laughing and he did not answer that.Softtouchmale,actually he started gaining weight after we got engaged and he was telling me that because of lack of sex,because we were apart and I wanted to stay virgin until marriage day,(which he was giving me headache for.,and now His excuse is I feed him too much,(even we barely have sex,may be he became careless after 2years of none sex).and also he stopped going to gym after we got engaged.that might be a reason too.
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A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (12 September 2009):
You're right in never being ashamed of your body. It sounds like your husband is being insensitive and he's criticizing you over things you can't control. Moreover, he's displaying a clear lack of respect for you.
You need to sit down with him and tell him that if he wants you to be a happy wife, that he has to pay more attention to you as his wife and as a woman, and not his own self-centered fantasies.
One way to fix his attitude is to find out if he's gone some sort of deep-seated anger issue inside him and maybe help him address it. When people get critical like this, it means they're insecure and angry at themselves and they lash out at others around them, simply because they can.
It seems to me that in this relationship, though he's older, you're far more mature than he is.
I don't understand his sudden weight gain. Does he work at all? Is there some money issue there and he's acting up because of it?
It all seems a bit strange here.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2009): Dear, what an awful person. I see a very controlling husband who is not getting any better looking or slimmer with the years and is insecure about his young wife (no offense, you are still very young). The best way to keep her 'under control' is to make her feel miserable about herself. The breasts issue sounds like an excuse to me. There is a much deeper issue here that you need to work on.'started complaining about my body,what he is gonna do after i have babies' = whatkind of future is there for you when you are with a man who worries so much about a superficial part of the most wonderful thing that can happen to a couple??I know it sounds really harsh and I apologize sincerely, but please, by any means, pack your things and go. There is no reason why you should put up with such emotional abuse. There is someone out there who will love you and respect you as a whole, regardless of your breast size :)
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A
female
reader, taina1980 +, writes (12 September 2009):
umm when he met you he knew you where part of the itty bitty titty commitee so he shouldnt have a problem with them now. maybe hes saying that because hes mad his ass got fat and want to give you a reason to feel bad with him and since you are perfect he talks about your breast. Which are perfect to you and that is all that matters. I say the next time he says something smart about your titties being too small say yeah i totally understand, i wish i you could have a bigger penis .. see how his fat ass likes it. =)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2009): I think he is only trying to tease you but if he is seriously concerned then from a male perspective who prefers small breasts I would suggest that you deprive him for a while from seeing or touching them and limit his axcess only to the lower parts and if he doesn't stop deny him those as well and threaten that if he is not happy with what he has got then you can take them to someone else.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2009): I am so pleased to hear that you are happy with your body as it is. Your husband is definitely the one with the problem here.
I actually feel quite angry that he is criticizing your body like this. I think that next time he starts to make these comments, you could try being firm with him. Maybe say something like, "I am happy with my body just the way it is, and I have no interest in changing to please anyone. End of discussion." That might help him get the message that you are not willing to put up with his criticisms.
But if he takes no notice, and carries on, then I do worry that, over time, this might start to chip away at your self-confidence. When someone repeatedly criticises us, it can be very difficult to ignore that. Does he realise how he is making you feel, do you think? What exactly is he expecting you to do?
I am reluctant to say "Leave him," as you two are married. But if this continues, then I would consider it. Like you said, if he is like this now, what about in years to come? I think he should try to accept you for who you are, like you do with him. If he can't do that...then I would advise you to be cautious. This criticism might get out of hand. So if he starts to make you feel really bad about yourself, then maybe it might be healthier for you if you wasn't with him.
I hope something here helps. And remember, you don't have to change who are, or what you look like, to please anyone. If you are happy as you are, then other people should try to accept that. x
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