A
male
age
36-40,
*ndy00
writes:Summer is almost over, and the time has come for me and my girlfriend to part ways. We've only been together for a few months, and we always knew that the day would come where I would have to go back to Uni, and eventually, she would be starting her first year of uni. That day is upon us. We have to say goodbye soon (probably Monday morning).From the start I've always told myself that I wouldn't get too attached. I have seen a lot of her over the past two months. She invites me over almost frequently, and at the risk of disappointing her, I go over and we usually have a nice evening. With the rate that I've been seeing her, I've spotted particular things that I'm going to miss about her, and I don't want to have to say goodbye to that. Basically, I've become a little attached, and now saying goodbye is something that I dread.The problem is the distance. I've done a LD relationship before and it's torture. I don't want that. However, she says if we don't try to continue on some level, she will have to cut off from me, and not contact me. I understand why she would want to do this, because I have had to do that once before myself.I know in my heart that I don't want to have a long distance relationship with her, especially as I'm going into my busy 2nd year of university. But it sounds as though that means saying "goodbye forever". How do people do that?
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female
reader, LilPixie +, writes (12 September 2009):
 Wow, yeah that is quite a long way, specially under the circumstances!No, I don't think it's wrong, if anything it's completely understandable. You just really have think about if you want to lose her because of this or if you're prepared to put yourself into that situation again. I just personally think that if you have that sort of feelings for someone than you can get through anything. You're in a very difficult situation here and you're the only one who can decide what the right decision is for you!I think right now it would be a good thing for the both of you if you were able to just stay friends and then have another go at the relationship when you both finish uni, i know it would be a long wait but it could be worth it if your feelings for each other are strong enough. I'm sorry if i can't be of much help, i'm a few years younger than both of you and only speaking from my own opinion.
A
male
reader, Andy00 +, writes (12 September 2009):
Andy00 is verified as being by the original poster of the question We'll be nearly 4 hours apart by car when we both go back to uni. I was in a similar relationship during my college days. At college you at least get one week off every 7 weeks or so. At uni you don't get any breaks for twice as long as that. Plus I work part time at weekends, so that rules that out from the point of view of me going to see her. She could come to see me, but she doesn't drive, so she'd have to get the train.
She is lovely, and I've enjoyed our time together for the most part. But I just don't know if I want to keep seeing her under those circumstances. There's a lot of going out involved with university, as she is about to find out, and I don't want to feel like I'm attached to somebody if I can only see them once every 3.5 months or so. Is that wrong? Do you think I'm doing the right thing?
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A
female
reader, LilPixie +, writes (12 September 2009):
I can understand why you don't want to go into a LRD again, I'm currently in one myself, and yeah its hard but for me it's well worth it.How far away will you be from each other? I would say have a go at it, and depending on how long the distance is, maybe you could see each other once in a while? But if you don't see that as an option then all i can advise is to have a nice day out together somewhere, maybe go the cinema, or anything else that you 2 might enjoy, make the last of your time together the best you possibly can. And then, once you've had to say your goodbyes keep yourself as busy as possible (shouldnt be too hard if you're at uni). I know saying goodbye is never easy, and there is no way of making it easy but that's all i can advise for now.And who knows, maybe you'll meet again some day! I hope this helps you a little. Good Luck with everything x
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